Tuesday, October 12, 2004

One For Friday

Dogs can wear one of these on Friday night so he can drink his Ace Lager without us laughing at him.

via Flophouse


Dogs said...

Ahem. I think you'll find that Friday night at the Tyne is for the discerning beer drinker, that's me, and definitely not for fizzy, sorry, I mean lager outs like wot you are you fscking ned.

mmChronic said...

You've obviously never tasted Toon Ale then.

Didn't know you were a beer snob as well as a golf snob. I guess that what comes of trying to hide your council roots. Or are you talking about that manky Boddingtons brew?

Stella Artois - nectar of the gods and my second favourite lager in the world. With of course Nastro Azzuro being the best lager in the world.

ILuvNUFC said...

Did i ever tell you lot the (true) story of Hippy Tony's granny and her cans of Ace lager and frozen metallic spiders?
It's not about animal cruelty, honest.

ILuvNUFC said...

Well, not much. Only spiders.

Dogs said...

Sounds like a Tales from the Unexpected plot.

ILuvNUFC said...

Its a classic.
Do you want to hear more?

Dogs said...

Let's hear it!!!!!

mmChronic said...

Yeah - we want to hear the metal spider story.

ILuvNUFC said...

This story is going back a few years now.
My memory is a bit vague and i think most of this is correct.
Tony's granny, god rest her soul, has passed away now. She lived well into her late 80's and always made the effort to get out to the shops everyday in other words she had a very healthy active life right up until the end unlike most old people we know, god bless 'em. One thing she did have in common with most old people was that she was very careful with her money, Tony reckons she only ever spent a tiny portion of her pension every week buying all the cheapest food she could find and i'm guessing she probably saved the rest.

Enough of an intro, on with the story.

She used to drink her couple of cans of Ace lager everyday and rarely missed a day. One day she commented that something odd was in her glass of Ace, she did'nt drink it out of the can. Upon closer inspection by Tony it looked like some kind of tiny little silver/gold frozen spider. The cans were returned to the local shop and she was given some more free cans as way of recompense. Turns out there was more of the little blighters in her free beer. This happened a few times so she decided to write to the Fed and complain. They told her there was a certain part of the process where spiders could get in the beer or cans or something and apologised and sent her a free full slab (24 cans).
How the fsck is Ace made? That's what i want to know. Anyway, back to the story, 24 cans = more metallic spiders = more free beer.
This remarkable event happened a lot over a few months thus resulting in disappointment in future purchases if there were no little presents in her beer as they would be her ticket to more free beer.

So now you charvers know what you are drinking when you drink Ace, there is a little flavour, slightly metallic spider taste but still, a taste all the same.

ILuvNUFC said...

Noticed they changed the ads to petmeds. How apt.

mmChronic said...

Didn't you know all lagers are filtered through spider webs? It's what gives them their fizziness. Obviously the Fed was just crap at getting the bits of spider out of Ace.

Class story. And that targeted advertising works really well. Cat + shovel = petmed. Obviously.

sticky said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mmChronic said...

Show the kid a bit support? What like plugging the launch on here and actually attending the event?

My comments above were a bit of a joke - it's obvious from them I drink lager not beer so have no opinion on Toon Ale either way.

Do better ourselves? Why the fsck would we want to brew our own beer? Or is is alcohol love such an intrinsic part of the Geordie birthright we need to be brewers so as not to be plastic? Or maybe you are just subscribing to the southern media stereotype of a Geordie who likes to drink to the exclusion of all else - an image which is now costing the north east jobs as companies don't want an alky workforce.

You got me with the down south bit - I only moved moved to Newcastle at 18 months with Geordie dad, brought up in the east end of Newcastle (with an outside netty and everything), went to school and university here, have a season ticket for SJP and have an accent which I bet is just as Geordie as yours.

Two of the other members of this site were born on Tyneside but don't brew beer either - do they count as Real Geordies™. One lives just down the road in Co Durham but we won't hold that against him.

Those fucking southern students eh?

Pissing on the north east? I, and the other Newcastle based NL members, are intensely proud of the north east. It doesn't mean we have to blindly support everything remotly connected with the toon or we would all have Girls Aloud albums.

You seem to have taken a slight joke very personally. Are you the brewer?

ILuvNUFC said...

Plastic Geordies indeed, You fscking moron.
I've never commented on the beer but i will now. "It's not very nice IMHO" Does that make me any less a Geordie? I was born and brought in the east end of Newcastle and i still live here.
I also promoted the night on my site too encouraging fellow Geordies to come along.
Now haddaway an shite and stop talking out of your arse "sticky" you fsckin brainless idiot.

sticky said...

Hey guys you are totally right. I got my self a bit brassed off I thought it was southerners taking the piss out of us geordies again. I take my hat off to any one that has the guts to get on and do something. Please accept my apologies.

ILuvNUFC said...

Apology accepted.

bungers said...

I'd just like 2 state 4 the record that I am also born Newcastle, brought up Newcastle, and live Newcastle still, but seeing as I'm a bit late to the discussion, and you've apologised - I'll let you off.


ILuvNUFC said...

Good old Bungers. Not as late as your Victoria Tunnel report tho.