Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Follow up: More stuffed frogs/toads (3rd pic)

Victorian taxidermist Walter Potter made elaborate tableaux of stuffed animals - quite surreal. Also had an obsession with cute (albeit dead) kitties that predated Fark & b3ta by well over a hundred years.

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

World's longest trouser snake goes on show

49 foot snake gets caught in Java or some other pacific location. Insert gag.... Sorry, the usual linkage humour has deserted me, but seeing as there's been a lack of linkage and mmchronic's been complaining - I thought I'd better post something!

Monday, December 29, 2003

WAP Site

Bit quiet here isn't it? :)



If anyone got a polyphonic phone for christmas (or like me you bought one for someone else!) they may be interested in this - my 1st WAP site - w00t!



Basically I wanted somewhere I could host midi files so I could download to a WAP phone without using a cable - tagtag.com does that (and has a huge free ringtone and gfx library) for free.



DOH! - actual link is to a WAP emulator showing the page - to get there using your phone you need:
http://tagtag.com/mmchronic/

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Pseudo monkey link

Harold von Braunhut, the "inventor" of the Sea Monkey, has died. Unknown whether medics tried to "just add water" to attempt to bring him back to life.

Happy Christmas Eve, newlinkers! (Yes, both of you!)

Look at what we got from work as our Christmas bonus. What a Bonus!

And yes, the seller would actually appear to work for us... how ungrateful!

(But if he gets 15 quid for it, my nana won't be getting it for Christmas after all..... )

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

But back to Christmas...

Satisfying all your seasonal musical needs this Christmas medley has the added bonus of cute furry things - and a monkey for Bung!

With one eye on the new year...

here is a calendar for you - featuring 'members'.

Monday, December 22, 2003

Ahhhh, the joys of Christmas...

Was discussing this one in the pub on Saturday night, so here, just for Addy... It's Jetpac in a web browser.

I also had a link for regular readers that was someone completing Super Mario 3 in 11 minutes, but the page is in Japanese and I can't translate the right link. If you're interested it's somewhere here

All this morning's links have been blogged from this month's Edge magazine, which is in the shops now kids! It makes a great Christmas gift, and is available from all good newsagents now...

Parent Action Kit

And to bring balance to the force and even it all out - here's a G.A.Y. American site about how games like Manhunt shouldn't be sold to kids.

You'd think the fact that it had "Adults Only" all over it, and "Not for Kids" stickers might be there to provide a hint. God bless America!

And here's the link

Monkeys!

A tribute to Johnny Cash - by a chimp! Yay for C&W monkeys!

More Rockstar Links...

We should have a tag for Rockstar related links... Spoof site for Manhunt

What not to have for Christmas dinner

This site has a collection of recipe books compiled by food producers like Heinz. The theory seem to be



  random recipe + our product = lush food



Judging by some of the pics they need to rework that formula.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

How cool are you?

Give this test a go and find out!

Album Cover Quiz

Xfm's Album Cover Quiz - win one of 3 iPods! If it's too hard this document (.js) may be of some use!

Spam non-existent by next Wednesday

I don't believe the UK government understands these computer thngs yet - check out the spam complaint page here or direct link to form here.



Basically it's a PDF form which you must print, fill in (one of the questions being "which phone number do you use to connect to the net?"!), attach printed copies of offending email and post via snail mail back to them! WTF?



Obviously communicating at blinding speed like this will help to eradicate spam very, very soon.

Friday, December 19, 2003

Bunger's Review of the year Part 1

Just in case you've forgotten how good this video really is... here's a reminder!

SFW if you work in Lord's Hire Centre or a bikini shop
NSFW if you work somewhere where they don't like Benny Benassi

Beware...

of the dog. Welcome to dogs cogs , YA poster.And yes we did see your test! :)

Beware! New IE patch

A 3rd party patch has been
released for the URL spoofing flaw in MSIE. However this in itself appears to be another hack!

What did you do today then dear?

You don't get much cooler than this

Anyone watch Horizon last night?

It had this stuff about the Simulation Argument.

Now tell me, Mr. Anderson, what good is a computer if you are already in one

First 'Running' Humanoid Robot

Which means they can now run after you

"Run away" ain't gonna work with this little bad ass!

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Return of the Bling

Still don't know what to buy me for Christmas...?? Make mine the Real DealPimp cane and complete pimp suit please!

Free Christmas gifts

Making gifts was never as good as this on Blue Peter.

b3ta ninja challenge

Well until you find it these pics should keep you going.

Not quite, but I do like...

... the guy who wrote : (Ninja's) are actually silent assasins. e.g. they would dress up like a salesman to get into your house, and while they are pretending to sell you something they would look for holes and cracks to climb into, then at night they would come back and murder you.

They wouldn't just kill you on the spot.

The Best Ninja's ever (TM) includes how you could improve films just by adding ninjas. IE Perfect Storm is about "Sword Fishermen" and then it's got badly ps'd ninja's on the boat with George. *Very* funny...

I Know Where Bruce Lee Lives

Kung Fu movie remixer. Could you be the next Jackie Chan?

This one perhaps?

The Official Ninja Webpage:REAL Ultimate Power!!!!

Fabulous Fighting Fantasy Fan Fiction

That ninja anim put me in mind of the FF books and others of that ilk. Here's an FF site that has lots of user written books.

N1nj4 sk1ll5

Fun?More ninja related shennanigans...

Still no sign of Best Ever Ninja's (TM) ...sorry!

Stick Figure Deaths!

More animations than you can shake a stick at.

Extreme Stick Death

and here's some ninja stick men.

Live out your ninja fantasies

With these class ninja Lego sets. How do I know they're class? I've.. I mean my daughter has got
these

sets.

Ninjai: The Little Ninja

But this is my fav ninja site -Ninjai: The Little Ninja

p.s. It's not the Best Ninja's Ever (TM), I still can't find that, but if you ain't seen this one you're missing out....

From the Good Book, to a very big book...

Here's today's challenge - links should have "something in common with the previous link". May I present to you, a big book

This has nothing to do with Ninja's! mm has posted before I threw down the gauntlet! pah! And I can't find the funniest ninja site ever (TM)...!

Ninja clashes in Congo's capital

I was so disappointed when I read this story - not a bloody shuriken in sight.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Blues for Jeebus

The pretender to Sir Cliff's crown has thrown down his challenge. Stephen James sings delta blues for the Lord in his bid to become the planet's most rockin'n'rolling christian. Church music predicted to reach 1966 equivalence sometime next year.

Geekiness abounds

This free
programming environment is brilliant at creating 3d animations. Not only that it is an ideal introduction to the concepts of programming for the non programmer.


BTW I found this link via the one I posted the other day.




PS Handy Hint: When referring to an earlier post you can link to it using the permalink feature. The post time link (the 12:38 PM bit in the tab above) on each post contains a shortcut to itself. So you can use this to link to it from another post.

Precious things

Do they really sell these in local shops?


YA sound effect warning. Bloody multimedia PC's in the office - they'll get you sacked they will.

And now a game for Christmas.

Play this charming little game where you have to clean the window to see the winter landscape outside.


Again a slight NSFW warning - smallish hentai banners and loud in game sound effects.

Seasonal linkage service resumed.

A seasonal song to slip you smoothly back into the Christmas groove.

NSFW if you have speakers on your PC otherwise it's just some swear words on screen.

Man naturally literate...

jury still out on women.


<runs and hides in small hole in the ground>


Apparently humans already have the Roman alphabet etched into their brains at birth - so why does it take so long for babies to learn to read? Lazy buggers.

More Booby Linkage

Pandering to the
booby obsessed yet again. These are particularly suitable for snaring any red suited, beard wearing burglar types.

Christmas Boobies!!

Screw all this seasonal linkage, what we need are more Boobies w00t!!
SFW... btw, it's just my comedy genius manifesting itself again... after all, that's why you come to Newlinks!! Doh!

The real cost of Christmas.

It's just getting too expensive. I wonder if this is factored into the new way of calculating inflation?

Ewww.

Chart to help you find out if you can legally knob your cousin. Chart for Middlesborough removed due to size restrictions - in addition to cousins, also contained siblings & parents.

Who says Americans don't do irony?

I think it is probably fairly ironic that one of the greatest ever proponents of civil liberties and personal freedom should have a price on his words.




"I have a dream."

Insert coin to continue.

LOTR has dirty bits?

Apparently it does. And if that isn't enough how about this (NSFW) then?

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Monkey based activity predicted to rise.







Bow down before the new ruler of HK (formerly HM colony of HK)

January 22nd, 2004 marks the start of the year of the monkey. This could well lead to rise a in
monkey
related
stories
but who can
tell
? What is certain is that the event is to be celebrated by the issue of
new stamps in Hong Kong.

Run away!

Malaysian villagers claim sighting of UFO Mulder and Scully said to be investigating cigar shaped objects in Thailand. Insert punchline/gag where appropriate...

Can we have some more stories about monkeys hiding chickens in trees and riding around on the backs of pigs for Christmas please dad...??

Especially for mm Chronic!!

It was called Moonstone: A Hard Days Knight but it looks like it was never on the Amiga.

It rocks!

Well, it used to... ;)

Seek, and ye shall find!

Some of you guys may know these sites already, but here I present to you, MobyGames the gamers equivalent of the IMDb

Combine this with The Killer List of Videogames and impress your friends with your limitless knowledge of 80's Spectrum games...

FYI The first computer game I played was "Wumpus" on the Acorn Atom, I think. Ah, I love the fresh smell of wumpus in the morning...

p.s. I'm still looking for that knights wandering about chopping legs off title for the Amiga/PC....

Monday, December 15, 2003

Never mind the latin

Learn Welsh and you too could be forced to live in a wet, mountainous part of the country with a large eared, greco-teutonic fool as your Prince. B'ggr't - it doesn't do swearing.

More word play stuff...

Seeing as we're enjoying the wonders of the English Language this evening, let's do some more! (Hey kids! Learning is fun!) Bison bison Is the latin name for the Bison. Boa Constrictor is latin for, well, have a guess...

Here are some mildy amusing latin names for stuff.

That sound like d1ck5 and f4nn13s.

Tee hee!

New Wacko Doll

This new Wacko Jacko doll is being secretly sold under the nom-de-bacon Josie in the Fashion section of www.classysassydolls.com. One presumes this is because sales of this doll have plummeted recently - after all would you let your child take Wacko to bed with them?

Follow up : The IMB strongly recommends ship owners to install this device on board their ships

I'd recommend a sturdy Cutlass Arrrrrrrrr....

Or a pack of highly trained sharks, with frikkin' lasers on their heads.

Did you know a bunch of crows is called a murder...??

Weekly Piracy Report

No piracy in Europe but plenty in
Africa,
Carribean and
Asia.

The future is orange..

or yellow, white or red - but whatever colour it is going to be it is going to be small.

Eurgh...

Pete Sampras' tennis career is back on hold after his ill judged move into weightlifting Can I get you a bag of Frozen Peas for that Pete...??

Oh, and hello to the Merg-o-tron! Nice linkage!

Saturday, December 13, 2003

3D Modelling for Dummies


  1. Use this Java program to draw cartoon style figures and have them turned into full 3D models.

  2. ?????

  3. Become the next Nick Park and profit.


Friday, December 12, 2003

Japanese SAQ

Very useful if planning a trip to Japan - a Seldomly Asked Questions page.

Earliest Blog discovered.

Blogs were invented in the 17th Century. Fact. And the earliest is here.

Someone left the kitchen door open!

It seems the site admin for "Kitchens on the web" has left the door open. Visit the actual site to see the ensuing hackilarity!




NB Do not under any circumstances use the admin pages to change the site yourself. Unless you want to become someone's cell biatch as you will almost definitely be breaking UK law!





EDIT In the couple of minutes it took me to post this the site has now become NSFW!

Another great Christmas idea

for those who thought Amy the squirrel was sexy (or any hollywood actor that may have an interest in rodents) here's the perfect gift.

Welcome to Mr. Merg McMerg...

...with his heart warming, gonad shrivelling frist psot.




Of course if he (the subject of the story not Merg!) lived in Bangkok (where else?) he could have got it fixed by the finest surgeons in that particular
field of medicine. Alternatively being a welder surely some DIY might help.

Soon all DVD players may be multi region (sort of)

Blockbuster want to abolish DVD region codes because "extra time and windows created by regional coding is an opportunity that pirates exploit". As opposed to "extra time and windows created by regional coding is an opportunity that media companies use to exploit you for every penny they can" I presume.

Weird Science

Lots of molecules with strange names.

When are we due snow?

Because I'm going to make me one of these. Or maybe just a 18 inch greyish (with streaks of mud/poo) mockery of a snowman. Bah humbug - we used to have real snow in the old days.

Girly feminist type to buy for?

Get her one of these uplifting message t shirts. Most peculiar - I can't find the "Where's my dinner biatch?" one.

Going to London?

Then you may find this map useful.

AICMFP

Who put the money on the car in the big race...??
p.s. Nice use of Fark in the phishing story. Can we have some boobies as pic of the day...? I'll mail you the piccy!

Be careful what you click on!

Turn this site into an authoritative news source by either

A) Spend years building up your organisation's journalistic credentials OR

B) Spoof the URL and turn this site into the BBC, Reuters or indeed anything. Hint: after clicking on one of
these links look in your address bar. Works in IE only.


For an explanation of this see here.

PSA: Daily image sites required

As you may have noticed there is now a daily image bar down the right hand side. The javascript I've written for this can be extended very easily to add more sites serving daily pics. So what I want is any picture site that has the date (in whatever format) in the URLs for the thumbnail and the page the thumbnail links too.



f'rinstance 10th december links for

Thumbnail:

http://www.dailystarpics.com/starpics/12-2003/daily_star_10_thumb.jpg




Page:

http://www.dailystarpics.com/archive/12-12-2003.html

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Those lying Americans

Conclusive proof that the moon landings were faked!

Dear Blog,

I am being mugged! This link is a girl who got mugged during an audio blog post via mobile. Audio blog in ogg format.

Matrix Revisited

Still no full video but here's half of it. Grab it while you can as Microsoft have been stopping people hosting it.


NB I think it's in WMP9 format - I only get sound and no vision on my WMP 8 installation.

Robots in disguise!

Autobotsrace to battle to destroy the evil forces of...the Decepticons!!!

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Follow Up : Pulse Jet Engine

Seems that crazy Cruise Missile guy has aso been building go - karts powered by a Pulse Jet Engine... where's that set of pram wheels I had in the garage?

Road test for Dave's new car...

I'll have a fiver on the jet please... whaddya mean you don't have a jet? I used to have a jet!

And in the interests of balance...







There's lard in them thar stomach appendages...

...here's one for those who hate
excess fat - this page shows you how to get rid of it without any of that pesky exercise stuff.

More fatties







Still looking for the perfect Christmas gift for the family's fat fetishist? Then look no further. BBW Figurines - The Perfect Gift for Big Beautiful Women and their Admirers as it says on the tin.

Where's the mad ex-TV presenter model?

Hot tree action

A stash of arboreal pr0n amusing "trees with fangitas" photos. SFW (unless you work with some long haired, smelly environmentalist who thinks pictures of naked trees are degrading to the floral kingdom or something)

A sad day for loony scientist types...

Remember that bloke building the crusie missile? Well he's been slapped on the wrists by his government. Watch out on the news for NZ parliament buildings being blown up by a rogue cruise.

Friday, December 05, 2003

Sweet Doggy Dogg

Every wonder what snoop dogg's on about...? Well, even in you didn't, I've got to post something today...

Thursday, December 04, 2003

More Christmas Ideas from me...

How to Make a Lamp Shade. A free guide to making lamp shades

It's proper Bo, I tell thee!

I'm off to get the old sticky back plastic out when I get home, I'm gonna make me some of these to sell on e-bay!

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

The only thing i can find

Here

Blink Ex-Drummer Scott Raynor Found Dead

I cant find anything to back this claim up,mind

hotgrannyaction.com

Someone has a large selection of granny images to choose from I suspect... ;)

Create your own retort :)


Would you like me to teach you dear?

No title... AYCCYFP

You should really get this because I can't remember your blueyonder address!! I have a dole-waller mate who requires walkthrough assist! (Behold the power of the interweb...!)

stoopid... html... rubbish...

You don't think something will be hard to find, until you actually look for it....

ppffftttt....

Of course using your reasoning the next time I buy a TV say I should just order lots of generic components and build it myself. Personally I'd rather take one off the shelf thanks.




I believe the first time I built a website combining templates and pulling info from a back end database was back in about 1995-6. First one I did with php and mySQL in particular was about 2-3 years ago. Granted not a blog but it would be very, very easy to do so. The words granny, suck, teaches, eggs and don't are swirling around my mind right now for some reason :)

If you're bored...

Building a blog is cool, but building a blog with Flash, MySQL, and PHP is so much cooler. Scott guides you through two days of coding and querying.Building with Flash and MySQL Get back on PGR2 you loon!

Megapixel pics are just so grainy.

The worlds' first gigapixel digital photo has been created - and it's not pr0n!

Saga - you cheeky tw@t :)

Here's one that's more to your liking probably.




WARNING: NSFLNMW (Not Safe For Life Never Mind Work)

It's playtime...

It's to allow the rest of the office to see what you are laughing at!




I'm just playing with the template seeing what can be done. I really wanted to change the horrible orange look but just started fiddling as you do. It will probably go - but expect more strange behavour (from the page not me!) over the next week or so.




That code breaks spectacularly on the 'Update' post too :)




Hmmm.... figures out way to insert random pr0n images for maximum squirm factor :)

w00t! (Or indeed - WTF??)

Is this something to do with web accessibilty or is it just PC gone wrong (again!). It's horrible. Get rid!
</flame>
Here's a link for you

Here's (rubber) Johnny!

I'm afraid there's not enough poontang for me!All play and no work make Jack the boy...

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Ooooo....

But what does the interweblook like dad....? (Sorry... not a new link, a two day old link... but it's nice, hey! I'm sorry already!)

Asylum Seeker FPS

DFWU Chuck should be pretty good at this then :)

Ben's Dad

After years of searching, with the help of Parents Reunited, we have finally found Ben's dad and heard the full sorry tale of Ben's abandonment in a basket on the doorstep of the Bottom Club.

Don't F*ck with Uncle Chuck

Yeah, but have you got one of these Sniper legends in the old family album...?? I think not...

Another Milor

"Great" I'll go with with but "late"?!?? I'm only playing PGR2 not dead :)




Anyway seeing the name made me remember this one - a god fearing, alien believing, paranormal book writing, military serving Milor. I can't think of a scarier combo - and he's bound to be a relative. I can only hope he doesn't bother with the family tree thing or we may end up with him on the doorstep one day.




EDIT: Now with added link goodness - D'OH!

ID Cards

I'm so relieved the UK Government is considering ID cards with biometric security features which of course are so secure they can't be broken - or can they?

Monday, December 01, 2003

No more fighting over the Christmas Turkey leftovers..

Buy pepper spray and SWAT team stuff here. Also sirens and lights for emergency vehicles. Want... Need...

Google Search: "David Milor"

In honour of the late, greatDavid Milor who shall hereafter forever be an honoury "Friend of MyBusiness". Make mine a googlewhacker please Barman!