Wednesday, March 31, 2004

New Links night oot

I can't believe mmChronic has invited the whole of the local population to our night oot. The clever thing would have been to say that nobody is invited. Not that it would make any difference to the number who turn up but at least we'd feel less rejected.

By the way, if anyone is reading this, mmChronic will be the one sitting next to the three good looking blokes.

Wassup with Halo?

As Halo is down I'll just post my comments here... Had a thought...we won't be alone on Friday night. There will be Mossad agents, suicide bombers, RIAA lawyers, FBI...

Follow up: Ustka Mermaid

It seems Bungers has posted the hottest story to date. The Ustka Mermaid is generating loads of hits from searches.

Unfortunately they all seem to be looking for pictures. Did anyone find an actual picture on that site? I just saw a crappy logo thing with it on. This could be a job for ILuvNufc - he is used to delving around Polish sites looking for potato vodka recipes or something.

You'll not believe this

I have found a link to the greatest download ever made available on the interweb. Honest.

Edit: Bleedin Halo lost again. I can't wait to read comment 73.

The beer really is minging

Is this what Hippy Tony meant when he said best stick to the bottled lager?

One for Bungers

Presenting the Dahm girl triplets. Looks like they got their 8008135 from the same plastic surgeon too. NSFW

More tea vicar?

Some rasping fart action. Needs sound (unless you find silent farts funny)


Chopping your dogs nutts off doesn't always have to be a cruel, callous act that takes away his reason to live. Not now that we've got Neuticles.

How to skin a cat

A really weird piece on how to skin a cat.
If you love Cats stay away.

Brain enhancing substances...

Get me some of that! This stuff can make you have a better memory. Apparantly, the stress hormone cortisol is thought to be responsible for eroding memory with age. I'm 93 you know!

Rude message found on Aero bars

I would've written chocolate log or something equally amusing...

Huge Movie Quiz

Just what it says on the tin. has 4000 questions on film and cinema which you can answer in a random quiz or a themed one.

via Ultimate Insult

Monkey Island 2 Outtakes

With the film version of Monkey Island 2 finally being released on DVD here's your chance to see the out takes.

dogs in kinky bondage shocker!

So is this what dogs gets up to in the privacy of his own home? With his fondness for manipulating statistics and now this revelation of bondage he should join the local Conservative Party. SFW.

pinched from Presurfer.

You want a Newcastle Pub Quiz?

Then you've got one.

Word of caution

Never mess with your partner's iPod

"She must have stabbed him 40 to 80 times with that iPod":

I'm plugging Redder2K again

The music has been class all morning (and all yesterday) but one of my favourite songs atm just came on - Alakaline Trio's We've Had Enough. Ironic really considering it's about turning the radio off and listening to proper music instead.

As DG of the BBC I reckon Bungers should buy Redder2k Radio for the nation.

P2P 'no threat' to music sales

Morning me hearties! Feast yer land lubbing swabbies on this story that says "We find that file sharing has no statistically significant effect on purchases of the average album in our sample. Based on our results, we do not believe file sharing will have a significant effect on the supply of recorded music". Yaaaaaar!!

In other news, we were second last in the pub quiz last night. We had a strong starting round (2nd place out of about 12-14 teams), but we then went "all crap". What riled me even more than usual was the fact that there were some filthy students who commited the following nefarious deeds:
  1. Bought one drink each and sat with same drink all night
  2. Started out with four members in their team. Their ranks slowly swelled to eight by the time the quiz started. The "file size limit" on each team was imposed at six members at the start of the quiz.
  3. Used mobile phones to ring up their filthy "mates" for the answers (not even sneaking off to the toilets or anything)
  4. Won the jackpot question with a lucky guess and walked off home with more money than they all came in with put together.
  5. And one of them didn't have the decency to even smoke her tabs properly.

Your blog is a bit sweaty

According to this post at Ben Brown his ex-company sold it's hardware when it went bust to Blogger. He made sure he wiped his nads over the hardware - and some of those servers are now running BlogSpot. ewww.

Of course it doesn't beat Gazza's famous genital wiping incident. Apparently just before the France World Cup, Gazza and several other England players were apparently left alone with the Jules Rimet cup. Gazza is alleged to have wiped his bellend all over the globe bit at the top of the cup. So of course when you see the clips of people like Le Bouef, Viera et al kissing the cup they are in fact kissing a fine layer of Geordie smeg. Post a link to the story please - although of course it may well be an urban legend but that won't stop me repeating it as fact.

US Election Dirty Tricks Campaign

According to Snopes, an email is doing the rounds accusing John Kerry's wife of owning companies with sites in foreign countries - Heinz to be exact. Big deal - but it's not even true! I don't know why they are bothering with the dirty tricks as they'll just rig the result in their favour again anyway.

The Democrats need to release an email about Chimpmeister Bush's wife's penchant for fscking chimpanzees. That's how AIDS started. Probably.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

One for Bungers

The Xbox has been dropped to $149.99 in the States. What has that got to do with Bungers? If the price drop makes it to the UK he might be able to get one. Oh and the press release features Paris Hilton.

via engadget.

Ooh tiny - Sony Shows First PSP Game

This page has some blurb about Sony's PSP presentation with a camcorder recording of the first PSP game, "Death, jr".

I don't know what it looks like yet as I'm still downloading it but the article has claims of it being better than a PS2. In your hand. /drools...

EDIT: Considering it's a grainy encode of a camcorder video shot off a screen this looks surprisingly good. Nintendo are going to have to make sure the DS is even better! Ooh a console in each hand.

link (indirectly) via 0xDECAFBAD.

Follow up - Not Enough iPods To Go Around

It seems that the reason we're not getting any mini me's is because there is a shortage of hard drives. Read the story though, and you'll learn that "the hard drive that powers the device"... what..?? so the boffins at Apple have discovered a way to turn the momentum from the spinning hard drive into elastictrickery..?? Or have they wired the hard disk to a dynamo, so it can generate it's own source of perpetual power..?? That'll solve those pesky battery life woes!

Grrr... Reporters! I'll run 'em all up the yard arm! Yaaaaar!

Pub Quiz Night!

Mmmmm, Beer. argargargh!This is a Newlinks appeal! Off out for a pint tonight, and tonight we're up for some Pub Quiz action. Now, we normally frequent The Chilly Arms, or the New Bridge. But they run on a Wednesday and Thursday respectively. The Carriage in Jezzer is supposed to have one tonight, and an "Advanced" Quiz tomorrow. Does anyone know of any more quality Quiz action for a Tuesday...? And please don't say there's one in "The Raby"... I've been barred from there for fighting. Yaaaaar!

Pub reviews courtesy of All it needs is a Pub Quiz Review™ section and we'd be laughing!

Goal! It's what black and white film was invented for

I'm surprised this one hasn't been mentioned yet. There was a lengthy report on the local news last night about our (NUFC) being the setting for the first part of the "Goal!" trilogy. It was confirmed quite a while go that we were in it but yesterday was when the publicity machine started going into overdrive. BBC Tyne has a story about it here.

nicked from

Jeebus in tree

The latest Jeebus spotting has him appearing in a pecan tree in Louisiana. God truly does move in mysterious ways.

You want fscking 8008135?

Then I give you FreeBooble. Yet another pr0n seeking parody of the major search engines. The crucial difference between this and Booble & YasexHOO is that there are no ads whatsoever.

This pr0n search engine stuff is obviously very popular - I'm off to write Altered Clitsa.

Did I mention this is most definitely NSFW?

Police warn iPod users

Filthy tea leaves are stealing iPods all over the country! Version 4.0 to have colour screen, MPEG 4 compatibility and built in Taser.
Pinched (Yaaaar!) link from The Telegraph.

NVQ in hoovering

Yay for macho Mexico. We'll not have any of that feminista nonsense here. Ladies know your place - with the aid of school lessons in housewifery!

Football Goals

As promised earlier (see comments) Here is the site with all the goals from the Premier league,and other competitions too but i have not checked them yet,this season.The only dead links are 2 of our best performances at Fulham and home to Spurs.The Spurs goals are promised soon apparently.

Newlinks Version 2...

A cheese grater, yesterday afternoon...will mostly be running on the Byker version of Flash Mob. Includes instructions to build one.

In other super computer related stuff, did you know the second fastest computer in the world is built from 1100 Apple G5 chipsets and is fittingly called "Big Mac"?

XBox and PC Development development

Apparently Microsoft have announced a joint PC and XBox development platform. Hoorah. I think????

City Wants Bigger Bust for Mermaid

Seems everyone's at it these days - Councilors in Ustka, Poland think their Mermaid needs bigger breasts. She is also "a bit fat".

Shizzle! I was supposed to be going for more mature, well written posts this morning to bump up the score on the old "Grammer-o-meter". Oh well, more t1tt1e5 and b33r stories anyone...?

Redder2k Radio

Wahey - we lifted a link from Look at This!

ILuvNufc has a Punk Pop link in his sidebar that goes to
Redder2k Radio and very enjoyable it is too. There have been no DJ's spouting twazzle so far - just streaming punk goodness. dogs need not apply - it's not 'proper' punk.

Ron the Nut

Ron the Nut is a collection of writings about L Ron Hubbard the Scientology founder. There's some really insane stuff - apparently he believed smoking prevented lung cancer. Yay! Dublin can start smoking again!

I'm not going to take the piss too much in case a hit squad of Tom Cruise, John Travolta and various other celebrity Scientologists arrive outside my door.

Google Personalized Search

Google have launched a Personalized Search on their labs website. You click on a few interests which are stored & then when you do a search the results are restricted to your search terms and interests. Unfortunately for dogs there is no shirtlifting category for him to select.

Monday, March 29, 2004

The people's game

Loads of classic Football clips are here. Including Gascoigne's goal against Scotland.Still brilliant

Talk about dumbing down...

According to New Links is a bit thick! We have a Lix score of "28.6 = below school year 5". Must do better!

There are a plethora of other statistical benchmarks on the site but unfortunately without any comprehension of the systems used the results are meaningless to me. But that should raise our score a bit.

pinched from Presurfer.

Cambodian cuts off love truncheon to feed spirits

Cambodian idiot cuts off penis to feed spirits. If anyone wants me I'll be waving my penis in defiance of things all afternoon. Hey ladies...! I ain't got no chicken either!!

Nigerian Pit Bulls...

or hyenas to you & me. has 3 pictures of a man with a couple of hyenas on a chain. They are supposed to be debt collectors - wouldn't fancy one of those at the door!

Why the monkey icon? Because there are a couple of baboons there too - yay for brightly blushing bummed baboons.

burgled from Boing Boing.

Happy Birthday Newlinks!!

happy birthday to us!!We're six months old today! Look at how we've grown! We used to be quite a useful programming resource you know... ;)

Waitress Applicants Videotaped Naked

Morning all! Here is the news : Waitress Applicants Videotaped Naked while trying on their "hooters" outfits. ETA on the interweb in about 5... 4... 3...

In other news this morning : Gamestation are selling PN:03 for £18.99! But, do I buy it, as a potential classic in the making, or do I get Skies of Arcadia Legends, or do I get PoPTSOT...? I can't decide! Please leave mini reviews and suggestions in the comments field. Ta!


Are those point'n'click adventures just a little too new fangled for you? Then you'll probably be right at home with some classic text adventures. The site has 6 playable online so far.

The first one is Adventure (or Colossal Cave). The very first time I played with a computer it was to play this at a very poorly attended computer exhibition thing in St Theresa's school when I was about 11/12. I say poorly attended - there was a bearded bloke who was running it, 3 computers (Apples I believe but I'm not going to swear to it) and me who only wandered in on the way home from Heaton Park. I spent ages playing this adventure and was hooked on computers from that point onwards.

The others on the site are Atari Adventure, Rogue, Zork I, II & III.

Sunday, March 28, 2004

More record breakers...

Nasa jet smashes speed record. It's only 12ft long you know... but it did 5000mph. Mini-me signs up for pilot training course.

Saturday, March 27, 2004

Spectrum Update

It seems the 10 Speccy games I posted yesterday run too fast. So to make up for it here is the homepage of an emulator called Hob that has 19 games playable on the site with a fair degree of overlap with my list yesterday. But what if you wanted to play one of the games that was on the list yesterday but not on Hob's? Well then you go to the site of JX Speccy which has 5,500 (count 'em) games online. They even have Moon Cresta for ILuvNufc. I think that should make up for it. Sorry!

Friday, March 26, 2004

Primate Programming(tm) Inc

Want to hire a primate programmer? PPI have packs of apes ready to start coding for peanuts. Dogs has already signed up with them so you can hire him here.

via Milk And Cookies

Xbox Live

I've just signed up for my free 2 month trial for Xbox Live after just finding the voucher in the PGR2 box I got just before Christmas. Which was lucky as the offer runs out 31st March!

I've signed up with the gamertag of mmChronic so I'm waiting for you dogs ;)

T-52 Enryu

The Japanese have unveiled a 5 Tonne,nearly 12 ft high robot to help in disasters.Clicky here.

October surprise

How will the Chimpmeister get re-elected? By engineering some event or other to raise his popularity like the Thatchbitch did with the Falklands. Unknown News are giving you the chance to predict which 'surprise' event is going to happen. The winner (or winners) who predict the event and date that raises George Bush's popularity gets a wallet sized Bill of Rights. Shame that it's useless to us and increasingly more useless for the Americans.

Wacko's stuff

CourtTV have quite a bit of coverage of Michael Jackson's trial but best of all they have a gallery of images from a collection of Wacko memorabilia. The bloke is a loon!

The Friday 10

In a shameless bid to wrest the multipost title back I'm going to be inspired by the friday five which lists 5 questions on a Friday which you are supposed to answer and list on your blog.

All well and good but I believe Friday should be used more productively so here is New Links Friday 10 - 10 Spectrum (or Timex if you're American) games for you to play in your browser. Yay.

  1. Ant Attack

  2. Batty

  3. Chaos

  4. Chuckie Egg

  5. Elite (that's the last we'll see of Bungers)

  6. Manic Miner

  7. Jet Set Willy

  8. Lords of Midnight

  9. Scuba Dive

  10. Zynaps

There are other Spectrum games to play at the homesite of Jasper, a Speccy emulator.
For all the Spectrum stuff you could wobble a memory expansion pack at check out World Of Spectrum which has emulators, more games (but none by Ultimate!), programming documentation, manuals and lots of other stuff. Planet Sinclair has a lot of information on Sinclair products and is a good read.

You may also want to read reviews of the games (or just relive your youth!) in Crash or Your Sinclair.

All hail the mighty Clive.

Ooh look - 10 links to games, 10 various other bits of linkage + the main link to the Friday 5 site makes erm... 21. Result.

Northumbria Police: Home Page

Who has been a naughty boy then? Check the headline at the top of the page.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Read between the lines!!

Nicked this one from Fark, but it's got a mint picture, so I'm not bothered! Simon Cowell gives the other American Idol judges the bird, live on TV, in front of 27 milliooooon viewers. Predictibly, the ol' septic tanks flip out like a bunch of Ninja's... So Simon scores points for:
  1. Flipping the bird
  2. Having a tasty girlfriend
He even has his own fansites!

Did I mention I looooove American's...?? (Fusk it... I'm going for the record!) See we've been getting a lot of traffic from Google lately, and a lot of it's been from the good ol' US of A. See I love lots of american things... after all, they gave us the Hollywood and Carmen Electra. They also invented the SawFish, which is the worlds first underwater chainsaw wielding robot. It cuts down trees that have been submerged under lakes behind dams. Speaking of chainsaw wielders, anyone who's seen the front cover of Edge this month will see they got some coverage of Resident Evil 4 (or Biohazard 4 as it's called in Japan). Capcom established the "survival horror" genre with the release of the first Resi game in 1996. Hand's up if you remember Alone in the Dark - the game that kicked it all off in 1992. And that should put me in the Guinness Book of Records. ;)

iPod mini not availabile until July

Pah! And my day was going oh so well too... Apple Moves iPod mini Worldwide Availability to July. What with me in Brazil in July, I won't be able to get one until I get back. Dammit Beavis! Now I'll have to buy a 15GB one, then the mini, then the colour one after that. Arrrgggghhh! I'm a corporate whore! Apparantly it's been so popular in the states that they can't make enough of them. Bugger.

Bungers and his amazing technicoloured iPod

If you wanted an iPod but didn't want a plain old iPod like everyone else then now is your chance to buy one in one of 20 different colours.

Banned Music in a BitTorrent stylee

Banned Music has been started to aid in the distribution of music that the record companies don't want you to hear. If an artist gets legal threats this site will set up a BitTorrent stream for their music and distribute it for them. Unsurprisingly the Metallica / Jay Z mash up referred to on Tuesday has been banned already - and yes Banned Music has a stream for it.

Will we see one of Bungers' works on here one day?

The Truth About Cobain

There have been rumours that Kurt Cobain, the Nirvana frontman, was murdered knocking about since his death. seems to think so. They say they will be revealing the truth between March 16th and April 3rd.

They are doing this via a series of questions. Amongst their clues are the fact there was a similar episode of Law and Order (script written by this?), a Siskel & Ebert (WTF!?) review of the case apparently came up with a 3 thumbs down for murder and Courtney Love's latest album not selling because Nirvana fans aren't buying it.

The last clue is of course ignoring totally the fact that the stuff she does is crap! That and the increasingly erratic behaviour means no one is interested in Courtney Love anymore which is presumably the reason her behaviour is getting ever more bizarre even going so far as to accuse rocker Ted Nugent of paedophilia. Of course she may be telling the truth about this but the strange way she revealed it included 'phoning the Howard Stern show, then going in and spilling the beans.

For more on Cobain's death check out which has a lot more background info.

/regains New Links multipost record with ease - 14 links :)

Better than Free Willy (as the Bishop said to the actress)

As mentioned in the comments on this post I promised an exploding whale and that's just what you've got. QT movie in 2 sizes - 3Mb & 11Mb.

Synopsis: a whale is found dead on beach & local town too cheap to get rid of it properly so they stick half a ton of dynamite inside it instead. What they weren't expecting was the deluge of huge chunks of whale blubber (leave sound on - you have to hear the sound of falling whale lumps at least once in your life) - big enough to destroy cars they landed on.

I love the smell of exploded whale in the morning.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Follow up: Yet another link promised but not delivered!

After Bungers' post alerting us about the gay looking hand signal for gay here's the background info he promised. tsk tsk.

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

The "Life of Brian" is set for re-release following on from all the success of Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ".

If I make this "Bunger's Newlinks Movie of the Month" for March does that count towards my place on The Big Bus to heaven..??

Oh no! I just typed in the url for heaven and it won't load! Eeeek! Maybe it's harder to get in than I imagine! "Save me Jeebus!!"

Also in the news today :
Yaaar! Save them thar whales! Environmentally friendly pirates Scientists try to free an entangled whale.
One of only 350 left in the world. You should really go join Greenpeace you know...
brakes? Where we're going, we don't need brakes! Shuttle Gears Were Installed Backward Erm... Someone wrote a song once about having two accelerators and no brakes.

And that must be a Newlinks record!

Then i must be..

statler jpeg You are Statler or Waldorf.
You have a high opinion of yourself, as do others.
But only because you are in the balcony seats.

Those two old guys in the box.

Heckling, complaining, being cantankerous

"Get off the stage, you bum!"

"The Art of Insult" and "How To
Insult Art"

Their pacemakers.

What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

It must run in the family.

Muppets on Mideast peace mission

If the Americans fail, send in the real Muppets!

Thanks to JibbaChops for that one.

David Beckham linked to Madrid bombing... a rather tenous fashion but it grabs the attention nicely.

He apparently signed a birthday card for one of the alleged bombers just weeks before the attack.

filched from the Farkistan Times.

What muppet?

gonzo jpeg
Apparently I am Gonzo the Great. Cobblers

You love everyone, and still you get shot out of a cannon on a regular basis.
Oh, and you are completely insane and have a strangefascination for chickens.

ALSO KNOWN AS: The Great Gonzo, Gonzo the Great, Just Plain Weird.

SPECIES: Whatever

HOBBIES: Tapdancing blindfolded on tapioca while balancing a piano on his nose, backwards, five times fast.

FAVORITE MOVIE: "From Here to Eternity...with no brakes."

FAVORITE TV SHOW: "Touched By An Anvil"

"No parachute? Wow! This is so cool!"

What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

apologies for the kack not-XHTML

Bunson jpeg
I seem to be Dr. Bunson Honeydew. Apparantly :
"You love to analyse things and further the cause of
science, even if you do tend to blow things up
more often than not.

Scientific inquiry, Looking through microscopes,
Recombining DNA to create decorative art.

"Now, Beakie, we'll just flip this switch and
60,000 refreshing volts of electricity will
surge through your body. Ready?"

John Cougar Melonhead

"Quantum Physics: 101 Easy Microwave

An atom smasher and plenty of extra atoms."

What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

What Muppet are you?

Yay - best "which type of thing are you?" quiz ever - got me dead to rights :)

statler jpeg
You are Statler or Waldorf.
You have a high opinion of yourself, as do others.
But only because you are in the balcony seats.

Those two old guys in the box.

Heckling, complaining, being cantankerous

"Get off the stage, you bum!"

"The Art of Insult" and "How To
Insult Art"

Their pacemakers.

What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

stolen from SpinneyHead.

At the end of the day, when push comes to shove...

Here's one for the grammar ninja's to celebrate - it's the world's most annoying phrases!

Win it!

Compo over at the AA to win an iPod.

Nanniebots: Hoax, Fraud, or Delusion?

It seems the NannieBots that were going to protect 'the children' from the net nonces were too good to be true. NTK raised concerns last week over the way the media were tripping over themselves to cover the story in gushing, sychophantic 'save the children' mode. What is it about the mere mention of paedophilia that makes people believe whatever is fed to them? Brass Eye anyone?

Anyhoo - after blogger Cameron Marlow secured an exclusive interview (full transcript) with one of the bots it seems we either had a revolutionary advance in AI or some sort of cheating.

But it gets better - today have a piece about the author of the software - and his self-confessed mental problems, links to Holocaust denial postings he put on Usenet & the death threats he has made!

Coding - it's the profession of the mentally ill! I'm off to wrap my head in silver foil.

More skateboard news

Now you've practiced your mad skating skillz take them to the newest skate park in Iraq. This is a QT video showing US soldiers skateboarding on the roof of one of Saddam's palaces.

Singing dingo wins trivia award

More from the Alps. cr8nro has been promoted to international correspondant!

Pingu-cam snaps amazing images

Bet you never thought those two icons would get used at the same time! Here's a link from NewLinks European affairs reporter, ca8nro, in Switzerland. Seems everyone has a webcam these days!

More Sign Language

Fudtz Sign Language has updated American Sign Language so it can cope with modern situations such as trying to score some heroin.

Zombie Bonanza (includes free film)

Yesterday's post about a zombie blog seems to be just one of a series of zombie phenomena around the world. The RIAA is under attack by zombies, "Dawn of the Dead" has been remade & now zombies are even going in for glamour shots at Zombie Pinups. Spookiest of all though is the fact that "Night of the Living Dead" is available free from the Internet Archive due to it's copyright expiring - or is it some part of evil living dead conspiracy? You decide.

I'm convinced - I'm off to make my house safe with the aid of Zombie Alert.


£50 that this is a Fark photoshop contest before the end of today. Isn't that technique called "the crane"...?

Ninja hold up

A Ninja brandishing a sword held up a gas station in Norway and escaped on a bike. Clicky here for more

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Famous Last Words

This is a good collection of the dying words of various famous people. They've missed some.

"I'm not scared of fscking mossa..."
dogs, 2004

"I'm not scared of ninja RIAA lawye..."
bungers, 2004

On the subject of ninja lawyers - surely this has to be the most risky use of the Jay-Z Construction Set yet. They are only the most litigious rock band in the world.

dead peeps words link from Hal's Stoopid Links

Lego WorldBuilder

This is a link to the site of gameLab, a New York based games developer. In particular it's a link to
WorldBuilder which is an RTS with added plastic brick goodness.

Pandora Tomorrow Demo

Tonight, I will be mostly playing Pandora Tomorrow. Here's the demo I was on aboot yesterday!

Nintendo goodies

As well as launching the DS at E3 this year, Nintendo are rumoured to be announcing 2 big new games for the GC - Wind Waker 2 & Metroid Prime 2.

via Shack News.

Teach your kid to swear

Little QT vid of a toddler attempting to say dump truck with swearlarious results.

via Milk and Cookies

newlinks appears to be offline

summink's brok3n...

Edit: Update

I think all of the blogspot blogs are off line... See Here has gone, and so has Space Hardware... bummer! It can't be me, my XHTML is spot on!

Russian flagship 'could explode'

Run away!!!

One for Bungers

Did you ever get that dress? If so you could probably use this

Classic Ali G

Here is the classic Beckham/Posh interview on the Ali G show,watching Posh squirm is class.(15 mins on a 56k modem)

How to Skateboard

Now that Bungers is a Blink fan (see Comments) he'll need to dig out his skateboard and visit the "How to Skateboard" site.

And in a bizarre piece of synchronicity Byker Sink over at Space Hardware muses on the political motivation of today's youth and in particular sk8ter goths.

Zombie Blog

Read the harrowing blog of two blokes trapped by
zombies which seem to be the result of a chemical explosion in California.

Newcastle United - Match reports - Charlton Athletic (h)

The Charlton match report is now up at

WTF news of the day!

Croutons Land Top Brain Surgeon in the Soup. Also in the mad news this morning : That Hitler wax work has shut down, cause everyone was pissed off. And Virgin has had to remove the urinals from it's airport lounge.

Btw.. the Jay-Z construction set is the bizzle!!


While we are doing ASCII art we can examine the issue of whether pr0n0graphy is art or whther it is just a dirty film by watching deep.ASCII - an ASCII version of Deep Throat. 55 minutes long and 2 colours. NSFW.


Submit the URL of a gif file and GIF2TXT will turn it into ASCII text like the ones mentioned in passing in the Rasterbator post.

,jjjjttttii,. .,;:. .,iiiiiitt;
.tttiiiiii;. . . ,iiiiiii;.
.;iiiiiiii: ;. . i, ;iiiiii;
,iiiiiiii;. ,;: .;iiiiii;

Hello Kitty Stress Tester

This is a little stress test with added Hello Kitty & Engrish goodness. My results were:

You easily feel stressful

Only with a little bit of additional work plus controlling your temper, you would then lose energy.

Not only would you accumulate your stress, you are weak to release it. For this type exercise and Karaoke will be the best way.

I'm for some stress relief.

I Eat Links

I Eat Links is a site that erm... eats links. Submit a link, it gets fed to the page which will grow and grow. At the time I added New Links there were 236 links. How big will the link eater grow?

Monday, March 22, 2004

Amusing blog... check it out

I think I found this whilst looking for Ren and Stimpy links, as this afternoon I decided we don't have enough Ren or Stimpy.

Here's a blog called victor is dead slash luna. Check out the cookie picture half way down. tee hee! Kind of links to the very funny Big Pie story on Space Hardware.

Artist of the week : N*E*R*D*

I've been listening to "Fly or Die" tonight, and it rocks! Yaaaar!*

*Erm, sorry, bit misleading that, there's no pirates on the album. Or mexican pirates. But it still rocks!!

Quick, to the batmobile!

Discover your hidden inner Superhero. Don't mess with me, I have an "Electron Cutlass"... Yarrrrrr!!

"Offensive" sign language banned by Channel 4

This is the new sign language for G.A.Y. apparantly, because the old one a "limp, hanging wrist" was offensive. They also banned a whole heap of others, but I'm still looking for the story... It had something to do with this program.

Sir Bobby's contract agreed months ago

It seems Bobby's one year rolling contract is no more.He has signed a deal which will see him leave St.James and the end of next season,the same time as God.ic Newcastle

BBC to show Townshend arrest

A BBC documentary to be broadcast on Tuesday will show Who star Pete Townshend being questioned by police following his arrest for viewing child pornography in January 2003. BBC NEWS

Bush can't tell left from right

A Google Image Search for
"left arrow" throws up an interesting result. And no it's not one of the rude ones ILuvNufc & I have been swapping. This one is SFW. One image stands out like a sore thumb (currently bottom right of 1st page) and it comes from the George Bush Foundation site. tsk tsk.

pinched from Presurfer.

Scale model of solar system

Spaced Out is a project to build a scale model of our solar system here in the UK. The Sun will be situated at Jodrell Bank, Earth in Macclesfield and Pluto will be in Fort William. In related news sundlind is the ar$ehole of the universe.

BBC NEWS | World | Middle East |

Saruman the White killed in air strike

Goatse featured in UT2004?

This is a screenshot from UT 2004 that is very reminiscent of goatse. The link is to FleshBot so you may get some NSFW for banners. So here's a direct link to the pic. There's also an excellent goatse link on the page which you will miss if you just view the picture - direct link to that here. The page itself is SFW as it is just a collection of goatse links but anything after that may just get nasty!

Broadsheet journalists just as stupid as tabloid ones

The Times ("quality" version of The Sun - both Murdoch rags) have reported on the spoof iPod murder story as fact.

Follow up: Dasani a flop?

After Bungers' post about Dasanis unwanted extra chemicals it seems that the chemical involved is related to bromide which is the stuff the Army allegedly used to put in tea to stifle soldiers "urges". That's bad enough but the actual chemical involved, bromate, is a lethal carcinogen. Mmm lovely - I'll have 2 bottles please.

Eddie Izzard my arse

The actor who will play the new Dr Who has been announced as Christopher Eccleston.

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Sex Education For Tards

Todays wacky item on eBay is a how-to video for retards. Clicky here. With downloadable short clip but im not sure if i want to.

Message to Boss:We could use a Joey icon.

We Like The Moon

Very silly song about the moon unless you think it sensible to compare the moon to vegetables.

Friday, March 19, 2004

More eBay guff!

What better gift to give to someone who's just freshly bleached their ring than Saddam Hussein's fist.

EDIT: This is mmChronic hijacking Bungers' post. I had this link sent to me by someone called Chops via the submission form. Unfortunately I've only just got in to check my mail and spotted it - and Bungers has posted this since. So thanks anyway Chops.

Get rid of your chocolate starfish

The latest cosmetic surgery fad is reported to be anus bleaching. I wonder if Wacko has had it done?

Coca-Cola recalls Dasani bottled water

CLASSIC. That'll teach those corporate a$$ monkeys!! bwahahaha!

Also... Foosballers of Middle Earth. Nice!

UFO streaks through Martian sky

According to the BBC Rover has spotted a UFO in the Martian sky! Is it Beagle or is it the Martians doing their preparations for War of the Worlds (Guardian article)?

iCapture - "your site through the eyes of Apple's Safari browser".

iCapture lets you submit a link and it will view the site with Safari (Mac browser), take a screenshot and post it for you to see. This gives you a chance to see if your site will work on Safari. New Links is that full of chunky linkage goodness it obviously failed to load completely so is missing the right hand bar.

Film Review:Tarantino Interview

More martial artistry - this is an interview with Quentin Tarantino in which he talks about the films he referenced in Kill Bill. Kill Bill 2 opens on 16th April.

Who needs Spirit, Discovery or Beagle 2?

We can use this site to reconnoitre the whole of Mars before the upcoming War of the Worlds. bloody false icon promises... mutter.. bah.. grumble...

EDIT: Cheers Bungers.

Kung Fu Cinema

This site features more ninja than you could wave a bo at. Kung Fu Cinema is a site dedicated to martial arts films with reviews, screenshots and wall to wall oriental ass-kicking goodness.

e-bay #456723

Pure genius this morning on eBay.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

New Scientist: The Last Word Science Questions and Answers

"There's nothing like the smell of your own shizzle to make you realise just how much you stink." Can't remember who actually said that, but here is why the number two smells like, erm, shizzle.

A few BitTorrent Links to get started with

As discussed in an earlier comment I'm going to have a little play with BitTorrent, a P2P network which I've been meaning to try for ages. As Bunger has officially volunteered to mix the New Links theme tune I'm going to try and get the Jay-Z Construction Set for him.

Various clients to have a squint at include TorrentStorm,
the official one.

A Windows installation guide might make life easier as might a huge page of BT linkage. I'm off to download the interweb.

Has the world gone completely mad?

A school has banned full size footballs because apparently they are a health and safety risk. Personally I thought it was a rights of passage thing to by smashed in the jewel case by a full size leather caser. Apologies for crap link - only one I could find. If anyone can find a better link then please post.

edit: Full story here

Spiffy : War Of The Worlds movie

Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg are gonna make War Of The Worlds. How cool! Bit of a shit link, but it was also in todays paper. Hands up if you want an icon, as I have a feeling this'll be a biggie!

Bible hound

Read the story of how Bones was saved by Jeebus. Also includes a link to Da Dogs Church. Is there something he isn't telling us?

escaped from Everlasting Blort.

Yeti Sports 3

...or yet another round of Smack the Pingu. This time bounce the penguins off walls to get them as high as possible.

pinched from Presurfer.

Real life Transformer

You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! A Rover employee decided he wanted to build a robot based on parts from the Mini Cooper r50 which he acquired because "BMW overbuilds many of their parts, so the over-building of certain Mini applications for my robotics use went unnoticed". But that's ok because it's all in the pursuit of science. Yay!

Is anyone else reminded of Q?

"You have a licence to kill, not break the traffic laws."

Politicians lie?

This is a video of Donald Rumsfeld squirming after being caught in a lie in an American TV interview. I'm reminded of David Dimbleby's interview with him last year. There's a transcript here and video (rm) here. I recommend the video for maximum squirminess.

"a lack of credibility, or a credibility gap that you particularly have to fill", David Dimbleby

Build your own Joe Crow Robot

There's this robot called Joe T. Crow in a movie called "Mystery Science Theatre 3000", and now you can build him. Apparantly, the film came after the series - I have never seen this series, and as acting director general of the BBC, I think I'll be running it next week. Enjoy!


Remember the race bit in SWEP1? This is a qt clip of an iPod version of that. Added bonus: no JarJar Binks.

borrowed from Bifurcated Rivets.

iPod v4

Apple are reported to be readying a new version of the iPod with a 50Gb drive & 2 inch colour screen for displaying images. Why not video?

More computing jobs go to third world

700 jobs are to be created at a computer services company at Bridgend in Wales. Mark my words - the usual problem of customers accents on the phone not being understood by foreign workers will seem trivial compared to customers trying to understand Welsh workers.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Booble V2

This time it is Yahoo's LnF ripped off to create YasexHOO. I wonder how long this one lasts in it's current form?

Having said that I've just checked & Booble is still there - now with selectable nipple goodness. Looks like Google's cease & desist letters worked then.

Searching for local things

Google have launched something called 'Local Search'. You can filter results by location using the near: keyword and then view them grouped on a map. You get the local results at the top followed by the non local results.

For instance you could look for monkeys in Washington DC (use monkeys near:washington dc as a search term). Obviously the data set is not complete as it failed to return Chimpmeister Bush.

Main link goes to their standalone version which shows only local results. For local people.

EDIT: Fixed the link - stupid thing was only giving normal results. Sorry.

Real roller coaster action

So you liked Rollercoaster Tycoon but felt the need for something more realistic only to find a real roller coaster is way out of your budget. Have no fear - the Dragon is here. It's a working, model roller coaster set. It's not limited to a fixed design either - the track parts are bendable so you can try out different configurations.

And while you're waiting for it to be delivered you can play an online rollercoaster builder game or if you are a beginner to rollercoaster design then check out Amusement Park Physics for design tips.

We've got some action here

Just pull up on the left here.If you must use your open top car as a shagmobile please try and make sure there are no military helicopters with video (49 Mb wmv) equipment nearby!

Check out the rest of the Kiowa Pilots site for lots of cool helicopter images.

Best online quiz ever

The results of this quiz are the most accurate I've ever seen and it only takes a couple of minutes to fill in.

One for Bungers

A picture of Paris Hilton - and you can see right inside!

Science News!

It's the Newcastle Science Festival this week! Cue exploding vegetables etc...

Follow Up : Snoop Dogg movies...

Calvin Brodus, yesterday.Sweet Dawggy Dawg also features in Soul Plane. I must look for this in Blockbuster...!

In search of the big bang

Back to Peru again - or one of it's most famous exports anyway. This site is about crack which is of course processed "Peruvian marching powder". Features an interesting history of cocaine.

On the subject of crack - has anyone else seen Snoop Doggs' crack-gangsta-horror flick "Bones"? I've just had to search for it on imdb as I caught it late the other night and missed the beginning so didn't know what it was called. It was one of those films that was so bad you had to keep watching. Total shizzle.


A nice song about Gonads and strife.
NSFW need speakers for this one.

I'm Jesus Christ. I'm a messiah. This is my story.

Jesus got a web page.

Normal Service Is Resumed

I hope it doesn't rainRight enough of this cultural art & history malarkey. It's not as if we even won the City of Culture compo!

Did you buy a Master Chief suit? If you did and your budget didn't extend to a gun to go with it I may have the answer. Make one with paper. Ok so it's not the MA5B Assault Rifle from Halo but it is probably close enough to get you shot by a passing policeman. The gun is in fact the M41-A Pulse Rifle from Aliens.

Follow up : Giant otters

holy crap batman, they are really GIANT

The Machu Picchu Library

Some more Peruvian linkage - The Machu Picchu Library is a site with links to sites about Machu Picchu, Incas & Peru in general.

Web Gallery of Art

The Web Gallery of Art has 11,600 digital reproductions of paintings and sculptures. It has guided tours so you can browse the collection in a more structured fashion.

Peruvian Giant Otter

Is it getting 'otter in here?Now that Nobby has went to Aston Villa I think we are all missing a certain Peruvian je ne sais quais. In a bid to restore some Peruvianess to our lives I present the Peruvian Giant Otter Project.

SIRDS Gallery

Stressed out..?? Gonna go postal...? Feeling a bit mad..? Produce some relaxing alpha waves using these online sailboat images from the SIRDS Gallery.

"Wow, it's a schooner!"

Japanese Pepe

This Japanese cartoon features a rabbit falling in love with a cat and then chasing him around in a Pepe le Pew stylee.

purloined from Presurfer

Spiffy : Coin sized hard disk

Morning all! Acknowledged by the Guinness book of records as the smallest in the world!

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Dodgy compo entry #2

Changed my mind. New love of my life. Let's proceed straight to check out.

Hubba hubba.

Pick me. Pick me.

Prison Bitch Name Generator

And when you've found the love of your life you'll need one of these.

Dodgy compo time

Pick your ideal mate from the Looking for Lurve link. Here's mine. Apparently she's not bothered about age or looks. Which is understandable.

One for Bungers

Looking for lurve? Find it here. Though it may help if you're a big butch lezza.

Punch a celebrity.

Ever wanted to punch David Blaine? Here's your chance.

NSFW - some swearing in text and audio

Get 'em on

Unlikely story of an actor telling J-Lo to put her clothes back on.

Which reminds me of the time I was dating Angelina Jolie. I got so sick and tired of her constant demands for sex that I just had to leave her in the end.

For all your Catweazle needs

More Catweazle info than you can shake a wand at. Apparently there is a DVD out this year too.

Virtual Matchbox Labels Museum

I like matchesThe Virtual Matchbox Labels Museum is just what it says on the tin. It features 5000 labels from 46 different countries.

link from Ultimate Insult.

Now That's What I Call Electrickery Vol. 5.

or Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Tesla Coils But Were Afraid To Ask.

Terry Blake's Tesla Coils site is a pretty comprehensive site about Tesla coils featuring videos, images, plans and sets the scene well with an arcing background, rotating skull heads and a cracking Bach tune. It doesn't seem to mention their effectiveness when bolted to a tank in Red Alert though - pah!

You want music for your iPod?

What do you get if you cross the Jay-Z Construction Set with Weezer's Blue Album? That would be Jay-Zeezer.

Mystic Meg announces Sedna is good for passion.

The soaraway Sun's resident astrological crackpot Mystic Meg, age unknown, reckons Sedna could be a "guiding light to sex, love and creativity". It was also responsible for Man C beating Man U 4-1 the other day.

Don't eat that!

Seem's the Beatles must be short of a few bob these days, as they're intending to sue Apple over our beloved iPod and Apple Music (it's about half way down this page).

You'd think that
  1. They've got enough money
  2. They'd support kids listening to music
  3. They'd realise that the only people who get rich in court cases are the lawyers

Did you know you can't actually buy any Beatles music in the Apple Store on iTunes..? Funny that... ;)

p.s. Apple already paid them $48 million a few years ago because of "trademark infringement"

p.p.s. And they've already annoyed me over being so petty over the whole "Grey Album" thing! Nyah!!

You could always earn an iPod... appearing in an advert.

Bungers' iPod advert

Tony Hart interview...

Amusing interview from B3TA where Tone admits that some of the pictures in the gallery were "not so good". That's cause I never sent anything in!

In the other news today... here's the monkey story you were after.

And... more importantly! puddingbeast has lost her MiniDisc player! But she's not bothered, because she wants an iPod, and now she has the perfect excuse to go out and buy one! Problem is, she works with me, and we don't get paid very much, so maybe you'd like to buy her one, or contributing to the mmChronic, Bungers, Chucky and Puddingbeast need poor little bugger fund. I'll be posting donation links later!

EDIT : Or... I'll be off to town to buy a dress it seems...

Free iPod!

Earn yourself a free iPod by pretending to be someone's girlfriend. /bungers is off to buy a dress.

Follow up: Field of Lights...

... or Now That's What I Call Electrickery Vol. 4.

I know Bungers promised to post a link with more info on the Field of Lights later but we are still waiting for the monkey posts he promised the other day!

So here is a link to the artist's site It has some funny redirection stuff going on that didn't work on my PC so after a bit of digging about in the frameset source here's a direct link too. Did I mention his name was Richard Box? Or Dick Box as he's known to his friends. fnarr glurk!

Michael Jackson born again?

The eternally child like (or is that 'likes child'?) Wacko looks to have got even younger. New born in fact. Look at the
picture of the birth!

Ladies of Star Trek

After Bungers' report that a planet full of beautiful women had been discovered comes the first pictures of indigenous life.

link via Milk and Cookies

Frozen Lobsters Return to Life

Frozen Lobsters Return to Life. The ethics of this might be a little "off" but the lobster won't be! Also, a bit more detailed follow up on the robot buggies in the big race thing.

Newcastle United Football Club - Match reports - Tottenham (a)

Tottenham report is up at Shizzle.

Elastictrickery #3

This is a "field of light" that was created as an art installation somewhere recently. The tubes are regular office ones stuck in the ground, and they're being lit up with because of the pylons overhead. Still fancy living near overhead lines...? I'll try and find the proper link to the story later. Bung. ;)

Now that's what I call Electrickery Volume 2

And to keep the theme going here's a site all about electricity. VoltNet has lots of pretty images, historical info and a section on cooking with arcs.

via JengaJam.

Now that's what I call electrickery...

If you aren't close enough to see the Aurora Borealis you should go to your local electricity substation instead. This page has a brilliant video clip of a massive arc which, while not as pretty a lightshow as the Aurora, would certainly impress me. I'm off to get some copper wire.

How to dance properly

If you are a crap dancer these instructional dance videos will soon have you dancing like Bungers.

Monday, March 15, 2004

Not for the faint hearted...

The short story called Guts or, aka, the story that makes people faint.

Consists of three short stories the first two are tales of major embaressment and if you don't find them amusing then don't even bother to look at the final story.

You have been warned.

Edit: Major apologies - the third story is missing - prize to the first one to find it (a story about a kid playing with the pump in a swimming pool...absolutely the grossest true story I've ever read.)

Follow up : Profanity

My favourite swear word has been carved into a House of Commons table used by Tony B. Liar. Read the full story at Ananova.

Follow up: Validation results

After Bungers' post this morning I decided to check out the results and fix any problems. The vast majority (after I fixed a couple of style bits which removed over half the errors) was the & character appearing in links - I replaced these with the & entity and they all disappeared. So for valid xhtml in future you need to do the replacement or face the wrath of Bungers.

So we are down to 27 errors currently (from 444) and they are as follows:

  • 1 in the template - my error which I'll sort out soon.

  • 6 down to errors in the blogspot/google banner which I can do nothing about.

  • 20 down to some cluebait's use of <br> instead of <br /> in their posts. They can fix that themselves!

So we have lost 3-4 hours link searching time to get almost 100% xhtml compatibility. Unfortunately xhtml being the beast it is means it is invalid xhtml if it is not 100% correct. I'll get rid of my one remaining error and that's as close as we get. I'll just have to stick the valid xhtml logo on with a disclaimer stating "valid apart from BlogSpot's and Bungers' code. Bastards.".

EDIT: For all your xhtml needs.

At last - proof that Guinness bubbles sink

Yahoo News. Still no cure for cancer, as they might say over at fark.

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Impalement

Snopes have a pic of a man impaled by a log. They haven't confirmed that the picture is genuine yet but it's worth a look anyway! Not for those of a nauseous nature.

Home of World Time since 1884

Flava Flav once asked "What time is it..??". Well here's the actual Time according to those folks at Greenwich. Thanks guys!

The Precision Grip

This is a pic of a human and orangutan hand with a discussion of the differences between them.

Validation Results

Ooops! 1st Quarter Newlinks Validation Results are out today...

Comic Book Gorillarama

I've just noticed that we have been a bit short of monkey stories lately which is nothing short of a disgrace in the Chinese Year of the Monkey. So my first link to make up for the paucity of primate posts is Comic Book Gorillarama - your online source for comic related monkey goodness.

World Domination step 2

A secret hideout worthy of any James Bond villain is for sale on ebay. It's an ex-US Gubmint Titan Missile complex. Features lots of nuclear shockproofing , power system and water supply and of course missile silos, this base may be suitable as a launchpad for Bungers' planned space mission.

Princess the dog

The "Princess The Dog" post has moved - please click on the link to view it.

Robot Race Ends Without Winner...

The Pentagon-sponsored robot race held in Southern California on Saturday ended without a winner, as none of the autonomous vehicles built by the 15 qualifying teams was able to travel farther than 7 miles from the starting line.

Read more at Yahoo! News.

Astronomers discover 'new planet'

Named "Bunger's World", the planet is like that one in Star Trek that is populated with clones of all the Earth's most beautiful women.

Actually it's called "Sebulba" "Sedna" (after the Inuit goddess of the ocean) or something... and is featured here, which is a link to the BBC news site.

Saturday, March 13, 2004

Aurora borealis Webcam

Watch the Northern Lights via a webcam in Alaska. The site has some stunning archived clips and photo's. The cam is online from 4am to 6pm GMT.

lifted from Milk and Cookies.

And to continue the swearing

I've had to nick another from b3ta newsletter as it has such a good swearing follow up :)

If you've seen the current C4 promos they feature loads of slebs answering questions such as "Where did you lose your virginity?". This one's theme was "What's your favourite swearword?". Apparently this one was for cinema only and has been banned already. Yet I'm sure I've seen this and the only thing I've seen at the flicks recently was School of Rock and it wouldn't have been on then. So have C4 aired it on TV?

Fsck me, this is good...

'Kinka wena' is the new WTF!!?! Yay!

The SwearSaurus is a global version of the profanisaurus. Swear fluently in any language. I'm off to Pottery Bank to practice Albanian.