Goodle News

Sick and tired of depressing news? Then try Goodle News - only nice stuff makes it to the front page.

Your / you're revisited

The BBC are obviously dumbing down for the interweb. There's a classic misuse of your in this story - quoting a judge no less.

"Your history proves your a psychopath and sadist."

50 Coolest Apes Of All Time

RetroCrush are celebrating Year of the Monkey with the ultimate guide to cool monkeys.

Whistlers Mother(lode)

The Online Guide to Whistling Records is just what it says on the tin. I know nowt about famous whistlers and the only person I can think of that whistled on records is/was Roger Whittaker (you have to love his local knowledge - Durham on the Tyne?) but there is no mention of him. Obviously a lightweight!

Flash Chess

That's chess done with Flash rather than a very impressive version of chess (remember BattleChess? Best. Chess. Ever. Except of course the infamous networked chess Dogs and I wrote about a squillion years ago. The handover mechanism consisted of us waving at each other at opposite ends of the room to tell each other we had moved.).



Don't worry - it's not as hard as these - I played it in Shallow mode and beat it in 11 moves (including it's own).

One for Bungers

To make his planned iPod experience cheaper here's a DIY iPod battery. Up to 10 hrs playing time for a few quid. Bargain.

Added comments thingy

and a colour change for good measure!



The comments are by HaloScan (as mentioned to me by ILuvNufc the other night). I'll give these a go and see what they are like. I've finally decided to add a comments thing to this after not doing any development work recently on the new New Links site. Why? I bought Morrowind: GOTY for the Xbox the other day!

Getting too old for your computer?

Then MS have some advice for you, you myopic, deaf creaker.

You are a spizz!

But that's ok because everyone else in the world is too!

Jeebus in the clouds

Jesus in the Clouds is a site full of images of Jesus seen in clouds. And tornadoes. And trees. And lots of other places too. Jesus is truly everywhere. Hallelul Haleluj Halaluj Yay!!!

Serious LEGO

All the models on this page actually do things - like play the xylophone or solve the tower of hanoi puzzle.

DIY Explosions

Do you feel like emulating those explosions? "You too can build thunderous and exciting Matchstick Rockets". I'm off to invade France.

Explosions

This is the website of Exponent who are accident investigators. The link is to their explosion multimedia gallery.

Tranny barred from Miss Universe...

Chinese transsexual barred from Miss Universe pageant

I wish someone would bar idiots from using computers... NYAR!!

Radar on a microchip

Tiny radar could make driving safer.

Friday challenge?

With the snow outside we could practice for World Snowball Fighting Championships in Japan.

EvilLyrics

EvilLyrics brings up lyrics for songs in various media players including WMP and WinAmp. No good for Bungers though - no iTunes support yet. Now you too can understand what System Of A Down are singing about. I'm off to do some karaoke.

Rosetta launch delayed again

Rosetta launch delayed again - this time due to technical reasons. Euro space missions still cack then.

Yak Yak Yak

The history of Llamasoft by the hairy one himself.

WWX: Rumble Rose

Can you smell what the rock is cooking up in Konami's latest take on DOAXBV

Don't let your missus see this...

...she'll just use it as another reason not to perform!! Who the hell does these studies anyway...

Oh... wait... it was me

Not a "New" Link, but a reminder...

...just in case anyone has forgotten just how funny group hug // anonymous online confessions are!

In the news this morning...

Good to see Michael Howard taking decisive action over the Tory MP sacked for cockler joke. He better watch out, making intelligent quick, common sense decisions - he may end up as PM!!

Elsewhere New Yorkers are writing nasty things about boys on their T-shirts. Scr3w NYC, I'm off to Colombia for some fine exports and sweet a$$ hunnies!!! (see previous post!)

Taht didn't last long!

Dammit!

Giving it up for Lent!

Dammit Beavis!!

My code's gone to sh1t, so I'm going to stop playing with my big pink organ for lent!

GoogObits

An obituaries blog - with lots of links to other stuff in the text.

Euro space missions still cack

The Rosetta launch has been delayed until tomorrow due to bad weather. We should enter this in the dead pool thing - it's bound to explode or something.

More on XBox 2 hard drive

MS have signed a deal with a flash memory manufacturer. Could large capacity flash memory be the replacement for the hard drive?

Sony delays launch of PSP

Sony delays launch of PSP until 2005. 2005 is going to be very expensive at this rate - XBox 2, PS3, GC2 and now this. Better start saving.

Spy Gadgets

Stills from a documentary about CIA gadgets - including motion detecting poo. Why would it want to detect itself?




dogs: That spidey game is solid. I only got 60!

The Cyborg Name Generator: BUNGERS

The Cyborg Name Generator: BUNGERS

Bite my shiny metal a$$ before I flip out!

EDIT : I've gone back to Bungers... I thought it looked like we had loads of new submitters! Doh!

Scandal in MP3 stylee

My,was'nt someone up late last night.

My nickname was "Rabbit-ear Smart Lips"?????




Here is an MP3 of Richard Bacon interviewing someone about the Prince Charlie scandal a while back and the person getting interviewed tells it like it is.

It's not his secret blog...

but it's the next best thing.

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Yes,i do agree this is rather silly.

You're The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe!

by C.S. Lewis

You were just looking for some decent clothes when everything changed
quite dramatically. For the better or for the worse, it is still hard to tell. Now it
seems like winter will never end and you feel cursed. Soon there will be an epic
struggle between two forces in your life and you are very concerned about a betrayal
that could turn the balance. If this makes it sound like you're re-enacting Christian
theological events, that may or may not be coincidence. When in doubt, put your trust
in zoo animals.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Follow up: Books

dogs: I reckon yours is accurate enough. The site obviously predicted your reading level but was unable to return See Spot Run for technical reasons so it gave you the next best thing.



bungers: slut - and where's the prize for the Shields Road pic? pah. A slut and full of empty promises - are you undergoing gender realignment therapy?

Reisebus fängt Feuer

Which presumably means something along the lines of "OMFG! The bus is on fire!"

Are you a tetris spazz?

Then try this version. High Score currently at 1999990800.

I'd have to be...

You're Love in the Time of Cholera!

by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Like Odysseus in a work of Homer, you demonstrate undying loyalty by
sleeping with as many people as you possibly can. But in your heart you never give
consent! This creates a strange quandary of what love really means to you. On the
one hand, you've loved the same person your whole life, but on the other, your actions
barely speak to this fact. Whatever you do, stick to bottled water. The other stuff
could get you killed.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Got a Dremel?

Then you too can have a hole in the head. Here's a quote:

"The recent resurgence of interest in trepanation, largely due to websites on the internet"

Now is it just me or does any else think that sentence just proves the interweb is full of nutters?

Which Book Are You?

I'm Ulysses apparently. My results:

You're Ulysses!

by James Joyce

Most people are convinced that you don't make any sense, but compared to what else you could say, what you're saying now makes tons of sense. What people do understand about you is your vulgarity, which has convinced people that you are at once brilliant and repugnant. Meanwhile you are content to wander around aimlessly, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. What you see is vast, almost limitless, and brings you additional fame. When no one is looking, you dream of being a Greek folk hero.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

The World Mood Chart

Find out what kind of mood the whole world is in. I can understand the peak around Valentines day but what happened on 6^th February? Maybe it was when Mozilla users lost all their software?

Shields Road pic - AICMFP

Shields Road - back in the day (circa 1972)





And fsck did this one bring back memories! Rats as big as dogs, h'aporth of chips etc etc.





Check out the rest of the site for more like these - Tyneside Life and Times Photo Detail Page.

Follow Up: JT Parrish

It changed around about 1980 I think so yes it was before the war - choose one from the Falklands, Gulf 1 & 2, Afghanistan or Yugoslavia! We obviously like our wars in this country.



And not one to be picky(!) but it's Shields Road - i before e except after c blah blah :)



And are the things around the boys neck the forerunner of Parrish's coinage? Or have you been giving pearl necklaces to young boys again?

Come on son, lets go to JT Parrish!

Sanguine Penguin

I got sent this last week but couldn't get on to the site so didn't post it. Well here's another link to Bloody Pingu from JengaJam.com. It's Pingu with erm... added bloody goodness...

JT Parrish

We need an old timer's icon. I don't remember when it changed... was that b4 the war or after..?? ;)

Prize to the person who finds a "Sheilds Road when mmChronic used to prowl them streets" picture...!

Kids these days?

You young whippersnapper! Michael Parrish's indeed! A real old timer would recall it as JT Parrish. I bought my 1st (and 2nd) 48K ZX Spectrum there. Best part of it was the area just inside the front door (which is probably Netto's cheap antifreeze/vodka section now) with about 6 Atari VCSs setup for play.

One for ILuvNufc

Are you still having codec problems? If so you might want to look at the KL Codec Resource Site if you haven't seen it already.

Pay day on Friday!

And what better to spend those beans on than a LEGO Imperial Star Destroyer... a snip at £250!!

I had to fight for months to get my £7 lego landrover and boat from Michael Parrish's on Sheilds Road...

Bah! Kids these days don't know they're born....!



EDIT : I had one of these and I also just found Torture devices throughout history recreated from Lego! Can't find a decent "Old Lego sets" archive that has all the ones I used to have as a kid.. but I'll keep looking!

Extreme Stick Death

Side scrolling stickman kung fu action.

Geekiator

4 REM POKE to stop scroll y/n prompt

5 POKE 23692, 0

10 FOR n=1 TO 10000

15 REM next escaped slave

20 PRINT "I'm Spartacus!"

30 NEXT n

35 REM Crassus

40 PRINT "Well you can all fscking die then!"

50 FOR n=1 TO 10000

60 PRINT "hammer, hammer, hammer"

70 PRINT "arrrggghhh!"

80 NEXT n

85 REM Senate

90 PRINT "Pompey is our hero! Yay!"

95 REM Crassus

100 PRINT "WTF?"

110 STOP

READY




EDIT: To be truly geeky I've just added lines 4 & 5.

Glad he ate her

Surely :

10 PRINT "I'm Spartacus!"
20 GOTO 10

;)

Ludus Gladiatorius

"I'm Spartacus!"

/me too

Forget all those namby pamby historical re-enactment societies like the Sealed Knot - fighting with gunpowder is for gayers. These blokes do hot gladiator action. With swords and stuff. Yay!

Football quiz!

Oh, shizzle! I didn't realise you actually wanted answers! I thought no one actually clicked on my links... ;)

Given up for Lent?

What have I given up for lent?

1. nowt

No wait - I've just thought of something! I've given up waiting for the answers to your footy challenge on Friday! w00t! I feel all pure and holy now.

The power of punctuation

Da Prez Bush would probably be a bit narked with semicolons at the moment if he knew what they were. It seems that an erroneous semicolon has thwarted attempts by conservative groups to stop San Francisco's gay wedding fest. Why would this bother Bush? Because he's a crackpot, crusading, christian fundamentalist who amongst other things is trying to ensure a gay couple can never get married presumably in order to prevent a Sodom and Gomorrah type disaster happening in the USA.

PocketSNES

Fancy playing SNES games on your GBA? Well now you can thanks to PocketSNES. Compatibility is limited so far but that will change. And whilst on the topic of GBAs I saw a review for a 1Gb flash cart with RTC yesterday - and it's available in the UK</drool>

Logo RIP

Another cemetery link. Ever wondered where old logos go when they have been replaced in a multi-million pound rebranding exercise? They go to the Logo Cemetery.

Phoar! J-Lo in tasty shocker!

Theme for today : What have you given up for Lent?

I need some suggestions! Post to the usual address...

Railroad Tycoon 3

This game is not the Railroad Tycoon sim but is in fact a version of Pipemania with trains. Actually I vaguely remember a game like this on the C64 or Spectrum. Anyone remember the name of it? I think it may have been on one of the £1.99 labels like Firebird, Mastertronic or Codemasters if that helps.

SFW Boobies - Kylie

Kylie

p.s. If you want a definition of bungers I would just look for the synonym of facetious! I'm also there under "good-looking" and "The Legendary Swordsman of Byker". ;)

Lego Death Star

That's no moon - it's a
Lego Death Star. Incredibly detailed model including the trash compactor.

Ninja Mathematician

If you don't know your differential equations from your elbow watch out - YI is about. And if the site looks familiar it's because the design is based on the Ultimate Power ninja site.

E-mail scam hits MBNA customers

The BBC is reporting an email scam aimed at MBNA customers. I received one yesterday but it got diverted into my spam bucket so I didn't see it until just now. It's very crude technically. It embeds a gif file (click thumbnail to the left for full size) which looks like a normal marketing HTMLised email (even down to the bad grammar!) which looks like it has a valid link in the standard blue, underlined text. The whole gif is in fact a clickthrough to the spoofed login site.



What concerns me most about this is how exactly have the phishers got the email addresses of MBNA customers? I smell a breach of the Data Protection Act. I'll give them a ring tomorrow and see what they say.

iPod muggings

Bung
Bungers
BkingKat
Grasshopper Unit
Grammar Kid obviously just loves winding people up to attack him - he wants an iPod. I'd read about this happening in America but just like every other fad it's come here too.

Threat Alert Jesus

We need a web enabled version of Threat Alert Jesus to see if it's worth visiting New Links today or whether it will be mostly bickering about grammar.

Book-A-Minute

Sister site to Movie-A-Minute, Book-A-Minute allows you to pretend you are way more widely read than you actually are.

Wor hoose

I don't know. I go to the dentist and come back, dribbling mouth all agog, anticipating dead bodies and everything. And I find you've all turned into peace loving hippies, practicing free love. pah. Your pints are all puffs.



Anyway the Sine link ILuvNufc posted earlier has a picture of wor hoose. That's ILuvNufc's and mine. We moved from that one about 20 years ago. I'll quickly point out that we aren't shirt lifting "life partners" but siblings. If you follow that row to the left for about 12 houses you'll find Chez Tweedy. Also on the same estate lived Jackie Lye of Brush Strokes fame. And Ant & Dec lived in our lockup with Jimmy Nail. probably.

Oooops!

Sorry dogs, I'll make sure I pay more attention in the future!!

New Adobe product...

I've already got this so if it came down to a photoshop contest, I'd win anyway, by default! ;)

Ask, and ye shall receive!

ILuvNUFC was so polite.... I just had to oblige! There's no room for flame wars here!

tsk tsk mmChronic for encouraging things.... ;)

Soft

Not soft just taking time to consider my options and to see if my demands are met.See you's tomorrow for my revenge if the offending article is not removed.

Internet Police

Good day to you all.I am representing the internet police dept. on behalf of ILuvNufc and i demand the removal of THAT picture posted by Grammar Kid.It is considered to be in poor taste and unless my demands are met this site will be charged with "displaying obscene images"
I hope never to have to deal with this offence again and trust that you will move it or the balanced shall be re-dressed.

My Mate Tony aka Hippy,Gunga Din

Sorry this is extremely late,like he usually is.
He wanted a bit on Inter-Web fame.Oops,nearly forgot my full stop.I live in fear of being corrected.

Bad Gramma.

It seemes most of us er from tyme to tyme.Basicly we are all humin with the exepshin of one or too of us.If their is wone thing i hav learnet from this it is i must go bacc to skool and get some gramma lesons.

Aneeways hear is a syte full of lowcal picshas four yor vuuing plesha.
How menee lines doo i get,teecha?

Wot were the ansas too th futball qiz as i cayme unstuc one th same on as mmCoronic?wer we bein used as Ginee Pigs so th teecha cud enta a compatishin

oops...

I seriously believe you have just signed your own death warrant! ;)

We are the spelling, grammar and punctuation Nazis...

Just as there is no excuse for incorrect spacing after a comma there is also no excuse for not ending a question with a question mark or a sentence with a full stop.



Glass houses etc. snigger.

If I wanted to start a fight...

Seeing as you were so polite!

Mushroom Cloud Picture Gallery

If I'd known I was gonna start WWIII...

Anyway. My favourite WMD has to be the Atomic Bomb, because "it's da bomb". So here is a Mushroom Cloud Picture Gallery, in anticipation of next week's new Fungus of the Month.

Ref : "Rents"

That's what the kids call them... I was merely pointing out the correct spelling. Pronunciation is down to dialect, which doesn't alter the spelling of an abbreviation. ;)

Your wish is my command

as long as it only involves creating icons anyway!




There you go dogs, a handbag icon. Go on, start a fight - you know you want to. :)

Car Accidents

You know when you are out and see a road accident and the traffic slows down to look, potentially causing more crashes? Well here's the solution - Car Accident Pictures - pictures and reports from people involved in accidents.

ooh whiny :)

Did you get out of bed the wrong side this morning, ILuvNufc? :)



I feel I have to correct your pronunciation in turn. It's not parents or parints - it's ma/da or mutha/fatha :)

Fussy

OMG.Someone is feeling fussy today.I have always said rints cos where i come from the end of the word parents sounds like that.Your definition of the word may be true in your case,i dont know,do you still live in Mummy's and Daddy's house?
OK? bung,bungers,ass-hopper or whatever your name is today.

Credit where credit's due

It wasn't me who posted the Celeb Cemetery - it was ILuvNufc!




Anyway just for you - a Guybrush icon!

Computer | Index

Tres amusant mon franglais ami! Computer | Index

p.s. mmChronic ILuvNUFC.. it's "rents" cause they pay the "rent".... Check your AOL translator! Doh!

EDIT : Oooops sorry!

Celebrity Cemetery.

See the graves of the rich and famous here.This is an American site so a lot of the names will not mean much to the average Brit.The list includes the likes of Sid Vicious,Kojak(ask your rints(parents)),Pelvis and Marilyn Monroe.

If I had a Monkey...

I'd monkey in the morning

I'd monkey in the evening

... all over this land

Or you could be exceedingly cruel to your monkey like this bloke. I wonder if he spanks his monkey?

More Beatles remixes?

After the Grey Album we have Mrs. Miller's Greatest Hits. Not remixes but covers of 60's songs in her own inimitable style.

Slashdot | Visual Autopsy Of An ATM Card Skimmer

Yaaaaaaarrr!!

Can we have Guybrush Threepwood for an icon pleeeeease - a guest pirate if you like!

Doesn't Julia Roberts look ruff today??!

Is that an iPod in your pocket?

Or are you just pleased to see me..?? Dissect the one you love

It's Grey Tuesday!

If you haven't got your copy of the Grey Album you are the slowest person in the world! Well today is your lucky day - today is the day that the web sticks it to EMI.

Mario World Overrun

Mario World Overrun is sort of like Missile Command with added Mario goodness. You have to defend the castle against enemies, earning coins (what else in a Mario game?) to buy better weapons and gun turrets. Presumably there is a level later on where you have to defend against ninja Nintendo lawyers citing IP infringements.

Terra Realms

Yet another point and click adventure game - Terra Realms - Let the Journey Begin.

Spot the odd one out

Looking for images of Mario64? Be careful or you might see Mario playing with his plumbing. NSFW.

Recipe goodness

Learn how to make fdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa with Delia.

Sympathy vote?

Matthew Kelly got the Best Actor Award at the Larry's. I have only ever seen him 'acting' in one thing and that was a godawful series where he is reunited with his long lost son and all the hilarious(?) situations that ensue. So either he has improved drastically as an actor or he has garnered lots of luvvie support for his 'ordeal' last year. Of course this is at the same awards ceremony that the Jerry Springer musical won 4 awards - my gast is well and truly flabbered.

RoboSapien

As it say on the tin "For all your world domination needs". Demo modes - Disco dance, Rude behavior, and Kung Fu kata. Everything you'd ever need really.

The goals?

1. Beckhams' so called 'wonder goal' - even though Rob Lee scored a much better one like that that was disallowed as one of the opposing players was offside against us. So much for fscking advantage! I think it may even have been against the same keeper (Neil 'spazzy' Sullivan?) as this one.


2. Owen vs Argentina?


3. Some cheating, Argentinian, coke snorting, fat dwarf - against England. Not with his hand this time.


4. ???


5. Gazza's wonderful 'take the piss out of the big ginger lump Colin Hendry' move againt Scotchland in 1996. Sheer class. Was that the one celebrated with the dentists chair?

Run away!! Reason #356

Chess Computers On Track to Overtake Humans in 2004

Name these famous goals!

Goal 1
Goal 2
Goal 3
Goal 4
Goal 5

Mummy Maze

Escape the maze before the mummy gets you. Simple little puzzle game.

I'm rich!

I'm off to print loads of these!

No... that's not it...

I think I've found it, but the site is down. Will post it later!


ways for spending counterfeit money #2593



-put it in the collection plate at church



via George Carlin

Run away! Piranha fished from Thames

Fishy Tale....

Show and tell

Is this (3rd story) what you are looking for?

Link request!

Competition time again!

Can some one find me a link to the story about the American kid who photocopied a load of Dollar bills for "show and tell" and got busted by the FBI...??

There's a prize in it for the winner!

I think it was on FARK....

The Mystery Of Time And Space

Another point 'n' click adventure - The Mystery Of Time And Space.

The Political Graveyard

The Political Graveyard is a website which tells you "where the dead politicians are buried". Unfortunately it features only American politicians so if you want to dance on Evil Maggie's grave when she finally shuffles off this mortal coil you'll have to find it yourself. Should be easy - just join the queue from the North East.

Cells can grow on silicon

Not a Jordan story - researchers have found that nerve cells grown on a chip can memorize information and communicate. First experiments were using cells from a snail. Significant sped upgrades expected when they upgrade to cheetah cells.

Chucky

I thought Chucky looked like this? :)

Here's my favourite ickle angel...!

Here's my buddy Chucky, who has requested to be on the front page!

She's a bit of a chump, but she's alright really...!

Li'l G n'R

It's like minipops (awful 80's - essential viewing for bacons) with hippies - it's a kiddy Guns n Roses tribute band.

Are you ginger?

Here is a simple test to determine your gingerness.

Yahoo! News - Top Stories Photos - AP

This old goofball swallowed 300 coins and other various stuff, and as such couldn't poo.

See how useful my icon is!

Clunk click every trip

If you don't wear your seat belt this could happen!

Curry KitKat?

Nestle are reported to be planning a curry KitKat in a bid to combat falling sales.



Perhaps they might have more success if they reverted to the original Rowntrees recipe? Since they bought Rowntrees the chocolate used has definitely changed for the worse. I remember reading somewhere that they changed it for reasons of longer shelf life rather than taste. I do know I no longer eat Kit Kats, Toffee Crisps and other ex-Rowntree chocolate bars because they taste nothing like they used to.



In addition to remedying the plastic chocolate situation Nestle could raise sales across all of their products by ending their participation in the killing of babies.

Bubble gum art

Pictures of ladies in the medium of gum.

Man arrested for eating poo!

Man
arrested for eating poo, doing drugs, wearing womens clothing. A day in the life of the depraved.



Wow this new icon is really useful :)

Video game to help flood planners

A special SimCity-like game has been devised to help plan for Britain's future flood defences. Doesn't mention if it includes Godzilla type attacks.

The Mumm-ra Zone

The Mumm-ra Zone

New Friends, But Jen Hints At Matt Finish

Yeah.. but look at how much they rock...!

Friends news

See...?? Sh1t.

NHS gets faster pr0n

The NHS has signed a deal with BT to connect all sites with broadband. The first thing patients will notice about it is that the NHS will now be able to lose their medical records much faster than ever before.

New Icon erm.. goodness.

Two new icons from Bungers. Normally I wouldn't showcase the new icons like this but I didn't want to be incorrectly blamed for credited with such magnificent pieces.

See if your pass is valid...

By my calculations that makes me 64% likely to go to heaven, and hopefully I'm not off to hell!

I think my soul was only worth £4000 or something, but I can't remember where that test was. But on the whole things are looking up for me!! Cheers Big Man!

My mother is insane..!

Nothing will prepare you for this.

Monkey Head

No, it's not Peter Reid (with his fscking monkeys heid) but another Monkey Head.

More books

BookCrossing is a place where you can read reviews of books. So what's so good about that?



What sets this apart is that people all around the world can register a book with them, get an ID for it and dump it for someone to find. The finder (in theory at least) gets the book, sees the BookCrossing info, and posts back to the site and then completes the cycle by re-releasing into the wild. There was even a book released 2 days ago in Newcastle! Unsurprisingly (considering the lack of books, people that can read and electricity for net connections) there are none in sundlind.

Britney reads book!

Britney is literit litterat litu can read! She may even graduate to teenage level books soon.

Follow up: Grey Album

If you haven't got your copy of the Grey Album yet then I think Grey Tuesday would be a good opportunity to do so.

80's lyrics quiz

I know it's not Friday yet but here's a Friday quiz anyway - 80's lyrics questions - 103 of them!

Put a tiger in your tank?

You'd be better off with a monkey in your trunk! (qt mov)

Plotting world domination?

Then here's your first country - Denmark for $15 - so far.

Have you had a trouser related mishap this morning?

Then it's either your wooden floor or seriously weakened sphincter. (goatse link? appropriate but no!)

Our fast food needs protection

After seeing our burger (BSE), kebab (foot and mouth) and chicken (Thai chicken flu) supplies being threatened in recent years news now comes of a danger to our chips. A farmer has had to destroy his seed potatoes after they were found to be infected with potato rot bacteria.



I think it is all a secret gubmint plot to starve the fatties.

Today's target for my hatred...

People who say "I'm a lover, not a fighter".

You know who you are. I'm gonna hunt you down, and Jet Li your a$$es. And because you're not fighters, my work will be quicker to complete!

More SP

vs

Rumsfeld Fighting Technique

New unarmed combat techniques are to be taught to US Marines. These have been devised (and used in many undercover missions) by Sensei Rumsfeld.

Slightly belated.

Here is me.

Brit awards?

The only bit of the Brit Awards I saw was when Justin was doing some speaking bit and sounding very gay and when JungleKerry had some sort of spunk assisted hairstyle (post a pic of this if you find one!) a la Mary. And that was way more than I actually wanted to see.



And now for some links with some actual content rather than an "site being upgraded" message (WTF is that about? Next time perhaps they could have the site ready to display the results. Novel idea I know but worth a go!) - general article, full list of winners and some pictures.

Follow up: The Brit Awards

More to come on this subject later, but here is another track from Jamie Cullen covering Frontin'. It's just been on Radio One, and it's good.

The Brit awards...

Seeing as I'm now Director General of the Beeb, I feel I am now qualified to pass my judgement on last night's Brit Awards.

Good Stuff:
• Beyonce's big ol' booty
• Justin had a nice suit on
• Cat Deely (yum yum)
• Jamie Cullen put on a good turn

Bad stuff:
• The sound quality - WTF??? More on this later...
• Using backing tracks!

Guess the Dictator or Sit-Com Character

One of those yes-no question things that guesses who you are - as long as you are a dictator or sitcom character!

GIGA quotes

"Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerent"

Huge collection of quotes listed by category, author and most interestingly I thought, chronologically.

Germans bag über-dooper super computer

The Germans now have the fastest computer in Europe - expected to be able to calculate France & the Low Countries in less than 10 days. Bletchley Park has been put on alert.

BATTLEWANG!

"
See who has the most powerful cock
"

I need to upgrade my cock so if you sign up here I can get extra credits to spend on it.

Bagle 2 spotted!

No not Beagle 2 but Bagle-B - YA email worm. When will people stop clicking on attachments?

Choose your own repeats

Apparently The BBC are looking at using P2P technology to make it's "archive accessible via the internet". Hopefully this will be every BBC production that they still have copies of. Can you imagine access to every BBC programme ever? I'm off to watch the Clangers. :)

ooh tiny!

Paul Allen's (one of Microsofts founders) new company has announced the FlipStart. It's a PDA sized, 1GHz cpu, 256MB mem, 30GB hd always on PC which ways less than a pound. <drool>

Mr.T vs Everything

Contrived linkage to enable posting another SP character? It may be contrived but it's still very good. Loads of Mr T vs just about anything you can think of. He may even end the war on terror. Yay for Mr T!

Here is me...

Create a South Park Character

Cool flash thing where you choose heads, eyes, accessories etc and create your own South Park character.




As seen as we haven't had a challenge of any sort for a while here's one. Create a recognisable picture of someone (anyone) using the South Park Character Creator ™ and post. Best by end of the week gets usual prize from Bung
Bungers
BKingKat erm... fscking Grasshopper Unit. We are going to need an 'icy hot stuntaz' icon for the boy at this rate.




Here's my first go.

Irishwoman lived with sister's corpse

AND SLEPT IN THE SAME BED. What do you do when a corpse starts hogging the duvet..??

I like the line "He wouldn't even watch the television if there was a woman on it"... via Yahoo News

Crimson Room

A japanese point'n'click adventure. You are stuck in the Crimson Room and must escape. So WTF do I do with the audio tape and the thing that looks a bit like a gamecube?

Robots take aim in Segway soccer

Scientists at the Carnegie Mellon University are setting up a football match between humans and robot Segways. Worries are growing that there may be a roasting incident involving a vacuum cleaner.

Beer too expensive?

Then let them drink champagne!



S&N have closed a brewery after all - just not ours.



More importantly the BBC seem to be reporting on lots of asthma surveys this morning (1, 2, 3). Now at least 2 of these stories are reporting on a survey by Gina and the third is based on data provided by an "EC survey" which may or may not have been carried out by Gina (hard to tell as the BBC omit their source totally).



So is it such a slow news day that the BBC have to publish at least 3 different articles interpreting the same set of figures? Or is it that they can no longer cope without Greg Dyke? We should be told.

This morning's "New Links Investigates"...

Follow on from all the kerfuffle with S&N, lets have an investigation into the Beer Price Hike Threat To Pubs. With pints going up by 10p per pint yesterday, lets look at the real cost of beer, and how we, the consumers, are being screwed over again... over to you, Anne Robinson.

Teenager solves his own abduction!

A 17 year old in California found himself on a missing children site. It turns out his mother kidnapped him from his father, who had full custody, at the age of three.

EMI blocks remix of Beatles album

DJ Danger Mouse has been told by EMI to stop distributing the Grey Album. The words bolting the stable door after the horse has bolted spring to mind.



Apparently "copies are circulating in the hip-hop community". Bling!

1st leaked Windows exploit

First exploit from the leaked Windows code has arrived. Fortunately it is only for IE5. Which means only lazy gits who haven't upgraded will be hit. There aren't many IE5 users out there according to the infographic from Google Zeitgeiston the left.

More Kitty Kat links...

Poor old Sad Kitty. He's sad cause you killed all his friends! This is part of the American Moms Against Masturbation Campaign

"Give us Star Trek-style weapons"

...says senior British officer. Device wanted that "switches off brain". I thought that's what the basic training did!! arf arf!

ic Newcastle - What's brewing?

Evening Chronicle are reporting that the Newcastle Brown story is rubbish. It would be nice if S&N applied for regional status to confirm this.

Follow up: Regional Food

Accordng to this

Regional food (sometimes called locality food) is food produced within a particular geographical area (whether administrative region, county, town or other appellation) and is marketed as coming from that area. However, it may be sold within or outside that area. Regional food is perceived to have a distinctive quality because of the area in or the method by which it is produced.

So I think Newcastle Brown definitely falls in that definition. It's produced in the region, sold around the world with the word 'Newcastle' and the silhouette of part of Newcastle's skyline prominent on labelling - ffs even the web address is newcastlebrown.com! And Newcastle Brown is nothing if not distinctive.



Unfortunately it seems only producers or food associations can register their products and Newcastle Brown ale at this time doesn't seem to be registered. So it looks like they can make it on Mars if they wish. :/

Beagle may lie under Essex mud...

Awwww.. shizzle... that's the wrong Beagle. I thought old Colin had maybe been looking in the wrong direction. Doh!

Animals on the Underground

This one is cool - animals that have been spotted in the London Undergound map. The link to the map is a flash anim resolving the stylised map into a geographical one.

More Newcastle based alchohol related shenanigans

After the Balmbra's story last week we now seemingly have confirmation of S&N's brewery in Newcastle being shut down. This was rumoured a few weeks ago in the (mm?)Chronicle but was played down by S&N suits.



Worst of all is the revelation that Newcy Brown would be 'outsourced' somewhere else. What happened to the EU ruling on regional products e.g. Champagne, Parma ham etc etc only being produced in the region they are named after? Maybe S&N haven't registered it? Can someone other than the manufacturer register it? Must investigate further.

My Thundercat's secret is out!

Nice detective work mmChronic, pah! You must've been watching Unbreakable last night with all these super heroes links!

UPDATE : The stink mysteriously hasn't reappeared since someone went on holiday, but I guess that's just a coincidence... but it has been replaced with the stank of rotting milk in the water cooler drip tray! I work with animals!

singing "I wanna say stank you, smelly much..." lyrics via Outkast

Oh yeah... and by way of linkage, if you forgot to get your missus something for Valentine's day how's about this...?? Check out their website here and then laugh when you find out it costs £1300 for a four day course! Reminds me of the Southpark episode where Cartman becomes a preacher to make $10 million..

Funnily enough, it doesn't actually make a case for not looking at the filthy stuff... So here's some boobies. If anyone's gonna disapprove, at least it won't be your prostate! Happy Valentine's little fella!

EDIT : And by way of balance, here's a cute little kitten reading a book. Put it away and think of the kittens!

'Uncanny physics of comic book superheroes'

An American professor is using superhero comics to teach physics claiming that comics get "science right more often than not". I'm off to build Danny's Tranny.

Serial Killer Art

Might we one day find an example of Bungers' art on this site? If Bungers was a serial killer it would explain the smell.



If nothing else this site will let you play amateur psychoanalyst - some of the images are ever so slightly strange.

Pingoffski

More pingu bash - this time a Russian version.

Can't wait for the King Kong movie?

Then try King Kong : Don't mess with the monkey. This started off as a few people doing some scenes from the Jackson / Walsh screenplay then just snowballed into what you see on this site.

Hedgehogs worth £20!

Animal rescue people are offering a 20 quid bounty for each hedgehog rescued before a cull on Uist. The cull is targetting 5,000 hedgehogs. That's potentially erm... £100,000 up for grabs! I'm off to Uist.

Crouching Bunny. Hidden Rabbit.

or Bun-g Fu fighting - a rabbit remix of the Kung Fu fighting single.

Celebrity Births.

I am so glad the Liza Minnelli / David Gest marriage ended acrimoniously - or we could have seen a monstrous kid like this!



More celebrity births here.

GCSEs and A-levels 'to be replaced'

by what? Gold stars? Apparently not. Some frenchy style baccalaureate is being proposed which will include 'extra curricular activities'. Good grief! A qualification for getting drunk on cider!



Next year's educational rethink proposes giving away certificates in packets of Walkers crisps.

Halo in a LEGO stylee

Models of vehicles and characters from Halo including an excellent warthog model! Has various other models he has made including Star Wars, MGS & LOTR.

Is this Bungers' secret site?

The evidence:

1. It's about Thundercats (an 80's cartoon)


2. The graphics look to be of a similar standard


3. The webmaster's name begins with B as does Bungers

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury I present Bkingkat's ThunderCats page. I rest my case.

Eeeenteresting e-bay item number #3253231...

Late for work every day? Hows about an ex-USAF F/A-18A Navy Blue Angel Hornet

It comes in blue, but I'm gonna paint mine burgandy. It'll be fun parking it on the deck of that surplus Aircraft Carrier I bought just before Christmas.

...skanked from Fark, but it's quiet in here this morning...!

no problem, 80's cartoons are my specialist subject Magnus!

Here's some nice images from New Scientist showing a big volcano on Mars.

Follow up : Dunno how we missed it, but Beagle was declared "officially lost" on February 6th...

Friday quiz

This is actually running for the next few weeks. It's a quiz to identify a recording artist at MusicalMystery.com. Stuff to win includes iPods and money.

Thank you Bungers...

It was indeed Pole Position. ITOFPCEOO. (I think our five pounds cancel each other out)

Perhaps it was this...

My favourite cartoon of the 80's after Thundercats was this one. AICMFP!

The animal thing was called Kuma, and we had a hamster named after it.

BBC reporting on false reporting instead of erm.. false reporting

The New Statesman made up a story about Welsh Nazis that are the descendants of Hitler's secret love child who was delivered to Wales by a V2 rocket shortly before the fall of the Third Reich and raised by Dai the Fascist in secrecy. Which may be false reporting.

Follow up: Music

That cover sounds like Marvin Gaye to start with (sounds like beginning of What's Going On), meanders via George Best (definite hiccup at 2:05) and climaxes in a Jacko crushed nads style. Of course the fact he announces that it is a cover of Thing Called Love by the Darkness in a file called lemar_love_nov03.ram means I may be able to deduce the answer - Lemar and a cover of Thing Called Love. ICMFP.



Continuing the quizzing - what was the cartoon in the 80s (maybe early 90's) with a racing team that did secret agent stuff? And I'll discount M.A.S.K. before you start. I don't actually know the answer to this - for some reason I thought of it this morning and can't remember what it was called.



ps Just to reinforce dogs' opinion of my crap taste in music - I quite like the Darkness.

Comment : Aaaaarrr....

I know someone, who, since he started "listening to legitimatly requisitioned mp3 files that have been downloaded from the intraweb" has actually started buying Albums again. This person hadn't bought any music for years (cause he couldn't be arsed, and didn't think there wuz anything worth listening too) "auditioned" some albums and then went out and bought them. See you don't get the track listings, and the booklet, and all that shizzle, and you never will... wake up RIAA , play to your strenghts and stop moaning. Stop putting out so much $hit, people will never pay for kak anyway... make your bed, you lie in it... blah blah...

Here's a good one... shit manufactured artist from worst show in the world does cover of awful psuedo rock which turns out to be rather good. Answers on a postcard, to the usual address! Took me a while to figure out what the track was... but it's worth a listen.

But you should still vote for the Raskett for the Prize!

p.s.... That JayZ track ,which is the mixed up version of "99 problems", ROCKS!!

So why is today supposed to be bad luck?

Snopes examines the history of the paraskevidekatriaphobia. Personally I think it's a load of shi



++ CARRIER DROPPED ++

Grey Area?

What do you get if you cross the Beatle's White Album with the Black Album by Jay-Z? That would be the Grey Album by DJ Danger Mouse. Unsurprisingly EMI slightly miffed.

Draw Your Boss

At last, a site worthy of hosting one of Bungers masterpieces - www.drawyourboss.com.

Eight legged hermaphrodite piglet

More animal stuffing fun. Not donkey pr0n (boo! hiss! says Bungers) but a stuffed eight legged hermaphrodite piglet.

More old software released into the wild

No, not Windows NT. After the release of "VideoToaster source code it's the turn of the C= 64 - GEOS is now available for free download. Not the source code this time but it's nice to see old stuff getting released legally for the emulation (and those people still using the real hardware) community. Take note Ultimate Rareware Rare.

Valentine Service

Don't have a partner to celebrate Valentine's day with? Never fear mmChronic will provide. No I haven't taken up pimping as a sideline - here's a virtual dating game so you can at least pretend you have a life.

BBC don't understand Red Book

The BBC had a piece on modern CDs not playing on all CD players especially car CD players. The Volvo PR head pointed out all their CD players were compliant with Red Book as agreed between all interested parties. The music industry guy lied and said standards for audio CD had moved on since Red Book specs were published. Oh really? Red Book has not changed - the music industry are just using all sorts of tricks to ensure the CD you just bought can't be played where you want to.



If anything fiddling with the CD like this can only encourage piracy. Your choice:

1. Pay £12 or so for a CD you may or may not be able to play on all your CD players - just looking around this room I see 10 different devices capable of playing audio CDs. What gives the music company the right to dictate on which of these devices I play my copy of a CD?


2. Download the album for free with the protection ripped off and the ability to be played anywhere.

Decisions, decisions. Personally I will NEVER buy a protected audio CD. I want the guarantee of knowing that it will work if I want to play it in my walkman or the car or in the DVD player or wherever.

Microsoft probes Windows code leak

Oh dear. The source code for Windows 2000 & NT has been leaked onto the net. How could that be? MS is one of the most secure companies in the world, veritable experts in security. or something.

Card battle games?

You'll be playing Yu-Gi-Oh next. Forget PSO - buy an Xbox and get Jade Empire instead.

wtf...?? Revolution forcast as PSO turns to $h1t!!

Watch one of my favourite game series, Phantasy Star Online Episode III, turn to kak before your very eyes!

Xbox Turbo

Dozing by the fire? I've been constructing an alternative design for one of these using rubber bands and safety pins.

New server has been located!

Newlinks is now being hosted by Mumm-ra Servers. Inc!

EDIT : Now with 30MB free storage!! (Humour and added linkage value!)

My Image host has fallen over!

It appears that all of my visually astounding gags have fallen on their collective a$$e$ this afternoon. I seem to be getting a bandwidth problem, and will be relocating them all to another server. Apologies for any disruption in the normally excellent service!!

It's Mine, all mine!

Seeing as mmChronic appears to be dozing in his armchair by the fire this afternoon, I'm turning it into an afternoon of Mumm-ra gags... hehehe!

Time to wheel this one out again...

Since coming up with the genius idea of using msn mes-singe-er at work I can't even go home without people bugging me for all sorts of shizzle at all hours of the day and night. Am ordering some of these motivational posters to help remind people what's really important.

Gratuitous use of Sam and Max

I forgot to include the Greatest Game of All Time ™ in my (what has now become a) Top 13.
Heck.. they had a top 11, I can have a Top 13...

Bungers "on fire" today... (not literally)

The Top 11 Mail-in Figures

Remember those tokens on the back of Transformers, Starwars figures etc...? Well, if you actually sent them in you got cool stuff!!! And guess who's in the list!

And yes... I've been so busy with my "enhance (using Adobe® Photoshop® software)" sk177z I haven't posted anything else... doh!
yes... yes... I got it from FARK

Outsourcing to fscking monkeys now!

Apparently monkeys are capable of being hackers. So the news is that unshaven, smelly primates can program. Where's the news in that?

Follow up: Google Logos

More Google logos - this time a Fark photoshop contest to create Google logos for imaginary holidays.

Pingu 2

This time throw snowballs at the penguins and knock them into a target.
(via JengaJam)

More news... from space this time!

Spirit sets a new distance record on a foreign planet full details here

Opportunity is still trundling around getting itself in trouble.

Sad news...

..or "Setting the record straight about Sir Patrick Moore and his musical skills. The skills are, no doubt, still there, but (alas) the mechanisms to play are not. Sir Patrick only plays the Xylophone in flash these days.... </sob>

p.s. My Dad has a letter from Sir Patrick Moore!!

More Newcastle news...

Flagship hotel in limbo as building slides into the Tyne under the weight of huge pit pony sized rats in the basement.

Eeek! New Links is becoming a smutty version of the Ronnie Gill!

Discovery Museum link erm.. discovered

The Chronicle has an article about the relaunch here.

Follow up: Historic pub to keep name - sort of

In a wishy-washy compromise Balmbra's will now be Balmbra's Reflex.

Discovery Museum

I never knew about that burial site before - the interweb is a wonderful thing.



Whilst we are doing the culture thing, the
Discovery Museum (official site - much better list of displays here) is having a relaunch thing this Saturday now that all the refurbishments and new stuff is complete. Embarassingly there is no mention on the official site's news section - only event listed is some teacher training/skive day. I'll try and find some sort of link if I can.

History stuff, and 10 years of culture...

Ahhh... memory lane! I remember that Claremont Road thing... It's right outside the Hancock Museum by the pond.

Seeing as we're all culture here this morning, New Links is proud to announce it supports the Newcastle / Gateshead initiative!

The Modern Antiquarian

The Modern Antiquarian is the web site of the book of the same name. It's a guide to prehistoric sites in Britain. It also features an excellent map browser - nearest site to New Links is here.

I love death

Strange (but good) animation of a stickman's life from his conception, via school, national service, marriage and work. Includes graphic stickman sex scenes! Possibly NSFW.

Acapulco + Monkeys = Monkey Death

This game features cliff diving monkeys - make sure you hit the waves and not the rocks.
(via Bifurcated Rivets)

Women harder hit by chronic cough

That'll teach them for smoking phat ones.

Gamecube 2 rebranded Xbox 2?

The Register has added that thought at the end of their article about the release date of the GC2. Zelda/Mario on Xbox 2? drool.

Yet more retro sci fi!

The pilot of the new Battlestar Galactica was deemed a success and a new series was announced by the SciFi channel. Now what I want to know is the UK SciFi Channel related to the US one? ie are we getting this too?

Use the pause Luke

Star Wars DVD is finally coming! Relive your youth and queue up outside your house for hours, watch DVD then join queue again.

Early Adobe® Photoshop® image enhancement

Seeing Double is an exhibition of cloned (photographically not genetically!) figures at the American Museum of Photography website

Follow up: Brazil Travel warning

When you get photographed for an anti terrorist check in Brazil don't flip the bird - it could be expensive. With picture of offending digit.

Brazil prepares for Bungers with condom campaign.

Brazil's ladyboys prepare for Bungers visit with a
condom campaign said Carmen Miranda's hat (pictured left) yesterday.

DON'T DO DRUGS

This
animation should serve as a warning to everyone.

More valentine stuff

This time with added monkey cupid goodness.

Infected with myDoom?

Then watch out - DoomJuice and Deadhat are coming. Payload for DoomJuice includes dumping the source code for myDoom on your hard drive - so when your local law enforcement officials come to visit you will have evidence of virus writing activity on your hard drive!

MS fix hole - only took six months.

YA hole in Windows. This one allows remote execution of code i.e. someone else can run stuff on your PC. Fix here.

Every Transformer - Ever

One for Bungers - a
Transformer site that has scanned copies of every Transformer instruction booklet online.

Next presenter of Sky at Night?

Smokin' Mo Kin , at the age of 3, already has the required xylophone skills needed to present "Sky at Night". She just needs to bone up on those twinkly things and she is off.

Mo(o)re Patrick...

Just incase you didn't know of his musical skills, he plays the xylophone you know.

File under "Irony" please nurse...

Or perhaps "Obvious" would be better. Dr. Atkins Was Obese, Had Heart Disease

After three...
<nelson>

Ha ha!

</nelson>

...stolen from fark again...

Mysterious Smell Floats Away From International Space Station

Erm, not smell, but actually a strange Object.

stolen from Fark

Photoshop the Bible

Sorry that should be "enhance (using Adobe® Photoshop® software)" the Bible.

A plan matures

The smell will be the seafood that the Blyth hacker and I left under your desk!



Only joking! If the wind is from the North it may be the stench of charver lairs wafting down the hill?

Are you suppish?

Play Johnny Rocketfingers and find out:

1. What "suppish" means


2. If you are "suppish"

It's a little point'n'click adventure with very basic graphics and very odd sense of humour. Some scenes are a bit rude - however the graphic quality should impair the view of the person at the next desk!

Houston, we have a problem!

It appears that we have a smell of unascertainable origin in our office. (It does actually smell like something with really bad BO has died, and the smell is getting worse as the corpse matures...
Short of a "pit-check", can anyone recommend a course of action..?

Link goes to GIS for B.O. and I ain't talking about the quarter staffs...

Today, I will be mostly be straightballin'

Create-A-Nerd

Create a nerd face with drag and drop. Unfortunately mine looked like a serial killer capable of this and this.

Trailor park hamster vomit attack

Thankfully it's game not a news item from Florida.

Another alternative food source

So you think that the liver may be a bit tough? Try babies instead.

3 of diamonds found

Just 11 more in a 55 card pack to find. Soon dubya will have a whole pack to play with. I bet he wishes they'd printed them in a Top Trump stylee with categories for bushiness of face hair and evilness.

Lunchtime

Yum yum. Prime piece of offal marinated in wine and whisky for 40 odd years - it will be very tasty. Chablis not supplied.

Badgers in Kenya?

You've seen "badger badger badger mushroom" and ""Kenya". What could possibly top those? Badgers in Kenya perhaps?

Oooooo! I wanna play!

Have a look around the cockpit of a concorde. The Smithsonian institute has done a deal with Apple so that you can spin planes around and stuff

Nerd rating : Very High

p.s. Doesn't today's pic of the day look like Kate Bush...??

And didn't Kate Bush have a "nipple incident" in one of her videos..??? Hmmmm...

Racing to save North heritage

The Evening Chronicle is reporting that Balmbra's, which is mentioned in Geordie anthem "The Blaydon Races" is to be renamed when it is changed to an 80's theme bar. Cheeky twunts. You could always contact the pub chain to vent your disapproval.

Virtual Knee Surgery

Become a medical practitioner like me and perform a virtual knee surgery operation.

Mmmm... Yes, I thought so...

I was right... Sorceress Teelina and her other that other bird in the hotpants were pseudo sexy when I was 11 years old. The same can't be said of the ruff bird who played her in the film...

Ever living spirits of evil, transform this decayed being...!

Oops, wrong one! He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe - Vol. 2 is released today! Mmmmm sorceress....

We need a spiffy icon!

I'll name that tune on 4

BBC Four have a Beat The Intro game - name 5 song intro's (artist and title) in a minute. Seems to have a fairly large selection of intro's.

BBC Four Time Shift

Tonight at 10pm BBC Four Time Shift covers the history of the computer in "Hard Drive Heaven". Revisit your youth!

Local Midget Clown for hire

Throwing a swanky dinner party? Then you need some high class entertainment such as Apes Grapes (relative of dogs cogs? We should be told!), the midget clown.



He even has a guestbook but

"Please dont leave nasty messages, I can trace your house from your computer, and I will come round - would you like that? Would your wife and children? Yes, probably they would."

Scarily, with him being local - I believe him. However judging by the contents of his guestbook he's going to be a very busy wee man.

Dishonest Dubya Action Figure

"Dishonest Dubya" Lying Action Figure includes genuine pretzel choking action. Doesn't mention Eagleeyes v2 feature that allows you to cross his eyes further than ever before.

Play with balls

No bungers, put your hands back on the keyboard. Play with some virtual bouncy balls.

Men in skirts?

Cheeky tw@t! I'm not Scotchish.



Will it really take you a month to find a rent boy?



As for the Dead Pool - my nomination would be Tony Blackburn. They had him dressed up in various clothes for the trailers for CelebJungleCack (I think) and he looked like a stick insect - he seems to have had a massive, sudden weight loss.



DEATH icon added.

And in honour of School of Rock

here's some virtual guitar action. Learn more chords than Oasis in about 3 minutes.

100 Men in NYC Seek Right to Wear Skirts

Didn't know you were "Stateside" at the weekend mmChronic...?? There was a big parade where 100 men in NYC were busy seeking the right to wear skirts. Nice. Guys really don't have the legs for it... and I can't stand up in stillettos...
via Yahoo news>

hur hur!
Yes, it's not even ten o'clock and the humour is flowing thick and fast! Check out the webcam to see what a lovely day it is in Newcastle, and rejoice about the fact that I'm off to Brazil for the whole of July! w00t!!

p.s. Lets have a Newlinks deadpool...



And as much as I hate too, I vote for Patrick Moore. Much as I love his eccentricities and his star gazing monacle, he was looking very much the worse for wear the other night on The Sky at Night, and I think he'll be off to the celestial heavens sooner than we think. </sob>

p.p.s. Surely your link should have a d.eath icon....??? ;)