Local Midget Clown for hire

Throwing a swanky dinner party? Then you need some high class entertainment such as Apes Grapes (relative of dogs cogs? We should be told!), the midget clown.



He even has a guestbook but

"Please dont leave nasty messages, I can trace your house from your computer, and I will come round - would you like that? Would your wife and children? Yes, probably they would."

Scarily, with him being local - I believe him. However judging by the contents of his guestbook he's going to be a very busy wee man.