The Simpsons: If They Mated

If Milhouse ever achieved his heart's desire and got it on with Lisa when they grow up what would their child look like? This apparently.

There's lots of other pairings - some you'd expect and plenty you wouldn't here.

via Waxy

Links galore

Seems like it's been a bit quiet in here today. I've been to Whitley Bay today. A lovely day in the sun. Tomorrow is my birthday and the first day of conker season, according to ILuvNUFC junior, so you probably won't hear from me tomorrow either as we are off to Jesmond Dene. So here is a nice pile of rubbish from me to keep you going. I'm sure you lot will can manage without the family wit as i think our kid mmChronic is away for a few days as well. ;)
Speaking of absentees, has anyone seen our Dogs?


- Especially for Bungers... How to be a Ninja, part one - the costume
- and another for Bungers Helmets from around the world - snigger.
- The Coca-Cola timeline - Over 100 years of gut rot.
- Tornado videos
- Remember the Magic Eye craze of the 90's? Here is the homepage. I know it's about 10 years late but i've spent about half of that time trying to work them out. I rarely could.
- How drunk am I?
- Cat town. Picture stories of cats. Dressed up. Strange.
- Hand knitted superhero costumes
- Ever fancied climbing Mount Everest? Now you can do it in the comfort of your own home. Class.
- Your monkey wants a tab. NOW.
- Famous people who kill. Never saw our Patrick Kluivert in there.
- Monkey images
- Especially for our US visitors Big John toilet seat. :)
- One for Dogs. Fish posters of the world
- One for Mergs? pubsub
- What happens if I...
- One for everyone Spyware resources


Thanks to milkandcookies, coolios and weirdlinks,

Yeti Sports 6

The Yeti returns. This time it's on a surfboard on a Hawaiian beach performing stunts.
yetisports 6

Rooney signs...

...for Madchester. Ho-hum.

Apple Unveils New iMac at Paris Show

ooooo! New Apple iMac has just been spotted in Paris! Looks very nice.

Seeing as everyone else is on holiday... here's a bit of follow up from my book review of "The Da Vinci Code". Seems that you can now book yersel' on a "Cracking The Da Vinci Code at the Louvre" tour! Read the full story here:


Paris Tourists Search for Key to 'Da Vinci Code'

Sorry I'm slow on the posting today, it's busy at wung-urk today, and I'm a bit mungover from the weekend's fun at "To the Manor Born". More posting to follow, sometime, later today. =)

Fantasy Football Update

Yes, that will be me at the top of the league. Thankyouverymuchandgoodnight.

Sega Enters Hardware Arena

...with the Near Me Robot Cat! No word on backwards compatibility with the Dreamcast yet though.

Joking aside this weighs in tons cheaper than the Sony Aibo at only $300 (Gizmodo's conversion) so may be nothing more than a fancy Tamagotchi. The product page is in Japanese so I'm not sure what it's actually capable of but there's a 7.5MB wmv here. With it being so cheap it probably won't have a nice easy to use API for programming it. But it's been managed with a Furby so who knows? ;)

via Gizmodo

hARDCORE aSIAN nOODZ!!!

If you are looking for hot noodz(!!!) then look no further.

This site features some of the hottest, kinkyest nood pictures U'll ever find. This is not a bunch of random pr0n links. These are all unique images -- none R stolen from other sights. All the material are original, responsibly crafted with our sexy hot models.

Hey, d00dz ----- check out our noodz!

There are plenty of images of wriggling, intertwined forms dripping juice everywhere. You'll be drooling when you see the group noodz. To cater for your noodz needz when you are on the road they even have a WAP/PDA Noodz 'lite' service.

I know BykerSink is a fan of hot and spicy Vietnamese noodz so we could muscle in on this highly lucrative action if we get BykerSink to send us pictures of Vietnamese noodz as he is going on Thursday. Or we could just cut out the middle man and get Our Man In Hanoi on the case.

Good luck out there man - but don't forget your camera!

noodz link via the Presurfer

Newcastle force Sir Bobby Robson out

As predicted the other day by ILuvNufc dropping Shearer turned out to be Bobby's last managerial decision as news comes that NUFC have sacked Sir Bobby. As I commented the other day if this was coming (and it's been plain that it has by the various statements by Fat Fred and Sir Bobby) why wasn't it done in summer? Now we have to fsck about with getting a new manager in on top of all the other shit that is going on.

Worst still though are the rumours I've heard that the new management team will consist of Terry Venables and God. I sincerely hope this isn't true - I don't want to see that cockney wide boy within a hundred miles of the toon. It'll be just be our luck that as soon as he got appointed his financial dealings will once again be under scrutiny by the media or the tax man will be sniffing round again.

I for one would like to wish Sir Bobby all the best. He came and steadied Newcastle after the shite Gullit and Dalglish reigns and has to be thanked for that least. He did seem to be losing the plot towards the end - but given he was getting his best players sold from under him and new ones coming in weren't his choices, the ongoing 'rifts' in the dressing room and who knows what else it was inevitable this day would come.

Only at the toon, eh?

Why Piracy Is Good

Anyone who has been videogaming for long enough knows who Stuart Campbell is. He's been around since the beginning of videogaming in the UK and still hasn't gone away.

Whilst you may not always agree with what he has to say it's usually interesting at least. Here's a piece he's written on World of Stuart titled 'Why Piracy Is Good'. Some of his arguments echo ones used in the New Links 'Piracy / My Gaming Platform Is Better Than Yours' Mass Debate such as piracy has always been here and if it is truly harmful how come the videogames industry is so lucrative today instead of being wiped out circa 1983 but the real reason I've linked it is it is mainly how about emulation and piracy have helped bring gamers games that never saw the light of day - officially at least anyway.

On the page are links to Robotron 2084 for the ZX Spectrum which was never released. It was thought that no copies of the game survived so this game was lost forever. However Stuart had a copy on a C90 (remember the feeling as you jammed your newest C90 into the tape deck and hit play?), approached the author for permission to release it into the wild and now it's there for your gaming pleasure.

via Waxy

Doomed

It's a Bank Holiday (note to non Brits: a day usually spent sitting in a car going nowhere fast trying to get to somewhere that's raining) which means no work. Don't worry - posting quality will not suffer just because we aren't at work! ;)

The good news is I'm not sitting in a car as I'm going away for a couple of days this week so we aren't doing the usual Bank Holiday sitting in a queue on a motorway. So here's the first of my Bank Holiday posts: Doomed.

This is a flash game which is described as an 'evil hybrid child of Smash TV and Gauntlet'. Sounds good to me. Top down shooter with monsters, monster generators and random maps. What more could you want?

via 0xDECAFBAD

Paris Hilton ™!

It looks like Bungers' favourite celebrity heiress is moving her commercial empire into overdrive with the news that she is trademarking her name and to go with it has submitted the crown thing for her logo.

Bungers will soon be able to spend all his money on all sorts of Paris Hilton™ knick knacks which means we'll never see him on broadband. Probably.

Toon news

A couple of Blogs that i read have moved their Toon coverage to a new site. Black & White & Read All Over has just started but it should have plenty of content soon if i know Newcastle.
Some other Toon news...
- Bellamys shirt secret. HAHAHAHAHAHA, little neck!
- Villa want Dyer. Take him now, please.
- nufc.com have an interesting story...Bobby to bench God
- United make £5m Balde move
- Bobby reassures Kluivert


Edit : It's true, God is on the bench. Let's hope we get something today or Bobby will be gone tomorrow. Can you remember the last time God was dropped?

Fantasy Football Month 1 - last call

Game month 1 is about to start:

Please note: Scoring does not start until 1230 BST on Saturday, 28 August 2004.

Month 1 starts on Saturday, 28 August 2004... unlimited transfers can be made until this time.

If you haven't finalised your team for the New Links League then now would be a good time! It's not too late to send me a team PIN to join the league either.

More on the Arabs

First Arab team in Europe get Newcastle in UEFA Cup.
Here is a little more info on them.

Rooney demands transfer

The BBC are reporting that Rooney has slapped in a transfer request to Everton - and reportedly favours us over Manure!

I still think this is bollocks but I am getting excited now and will be glad to be proved wrong! :)

I'm off to make my Rooney mask.

Stuff and Rooney news

Japanese cake erasers

Vegetarian Rhapsody

menwholooklikekennyrogers.com

Mutilated to supply trade in human flesh

lionhead rabbits

News just in.. Wayne Rooney has asked for a transfer and Manyoo increase Rooney bid. Surprise surprise.



Thanks to milkandcookies and coolios

PaperFormers Universe

..or origami Transformers. That's the last we'll see of Bungers then.

via Boing Boing

UEFA Cup

Newcastle have been paired with Hapoel B-Sakhnin of Israel in the first round of the UEFA Cup and we will play the first leg at home.
No, i've never heard of them either.
Ties are scheduled for 16th and 30th September.
You can see the draw in full here shortly, when it is finished.

Arming for the revolution

Now our Air Force and Navy are ready to roll we just need to arm our Army and Northumbria is ours. With our usual arms dealer Security Consultant unavailable at the moment we've had to scour the net for alternative weaponry.

The outcome of that search? A blog about making rail guns. Just what the megalomaniac ordered.

via Portal of Evil

oops sorry!

yikes, its seems i have comment spammed mC's post.
sorry dude. the pc here is obviously crap and im not to blame at all.
gotta go, i think my plane is leaving....

Guardian Unlimited' top 10 sci-fi films

The Guardian have put together what they think are the top 10 sci-fi films of all times. Yada yada blah blah another yet another top ten list. But wait - you can win them on DVD too. That's alright then.

New Feature

New Links proudly announce the latest stage in the plan to trap you here forever clicking AdSense ads as if your life depended on it. Which it does. So click them. If they ever appear anyway.

We've had a roomful of erm.. Merg hacking away with RSS, XML, JavaScript, CSS and magic string to bring you the RSSMerg box over there in the sidebar. And what a box it is. It's a big list of selectable RSS feeds updated once an hour. Currently the feeds are from Reuters and the Beeb but that list will grow fairly soon.

All the linkage you could ever want - just over there. In a box. Go on click them. You know you want to, chicken.

Todays pile of shat

Afternoon chaps. I've just set up my Fantasy Football team, eventually. I never noticed our Welsh correspondent in the NewLinks league. Anyway, on with todays drivel, re-posts or whatever.....

Would you make a good James Bond? I got 60 points.
Breakout - New style.
colour X-Ray vision
Shocked dad sees worm wriggle out of joint of pork
How old were you when....
TV test cards around the world.
Tricks of the trade

Cheers to milkandcookies, catch, bifurcated rivets and ultimate insult

Pictures of hippies

Yesterday we had the hippie dictionary, today we have photo's from Woodstock. That is of course the hippy fest not Snoopy's mate.

The same site also features shots of Hendrix, Joplin, Dylan, Morisson (Jim and Van) and 60's celebrities and a few more categories.

via Grow A Brain

Paris Hilton wants the world to know that she is 'available'...

Hollywood News India Online Breaking News Alert!!!!

Come to bungers....

Same story, this time in "The Times of India", with a picture of Paris in her pants...

Star Wars DVD changes!!

Check out what Lucas has changed for the DVD release of the Star Wars Trilogy...

Star Wars - A New Hope

Empire Strikes Back

Return of the Jedi

Guaranteed to annoy fanboys the world over!!

UPDATE: More Star Wars DVD changes

The big New Links broadband debate part 3564733

Move to Sweden.

via boingboing

Make 3D photos with your digital camera

In Engadgets regular How-To Tuesday feature they showed you how to make 3D images with your digital camera including links to the software required and a step by step tutorial on producing the images. In the new New Links Catch-Up Thursday feature we tell you all about it! There's your New Links compo of the weekend - best 3D image submitted (link in comments) by Monday gets... something. Probably.

Now we just need to find some of those 3D glasses to buy. Any ideas for getting them in the town? And no - buying the Shrek 2 DVD isn't a viable option!

w00+! *Real* walk-in Apple Store set to open b4 Christ-mas!

Also hot off the (yesterday's news) press, Apple have confirmed rumours that it is to open its first UK retail store, in London's prestigious Regent Street, before the end of the year.

vnunet.com - Apple fuels hype for UK store opening

The store's location is expected to be a 20,000sq ft premises at 229-247 Regent Street, which is currently shrouded in scaffolding while final renovation work on the building is completed.

Still probably won't have any iPod minis in stock... ;)
via vnunet.com

The big New Links broadband debate part 3564732

Just as well that I didn't wade in and buy broadband last night. If you've been following our FFXI thread (and countless  others over the last couple of months) I'm now ready to upgrade to the loveliness of broadband. It had come down to either Tiscali (£25, 512kbps, uncapped), or BT (£25, 512kbps, rumoured to be uncapped, but advertised as capped at a gig, but with the advantages of being all on one bill).

Earlier in the week Wanadoo cut monthly charges for 1Mbps ADSL broadband to £17.99. From today, I can order Plusnet's 1Mbps service for only £14.99. It's capped at a gig, but each additional gig is only £1.75. They're also offering a 2Mbps product at £19.99 per month including 2GB of downloads, with an additional £2 per gigabyte. Game, on?

Doom 3 Classic

Do you find Doom 3 too scary for you and that a Hello Kitty torch isn't enough to banish the nightmares?

Maybe you are just yearning for the familiarity of classic Doom. If that's the case then Doom 3 Classic might be just what the doctor ordered. It's Doom - with the Doom 3 engine.

via Waxy

Random rubbish

Naked Aprons. NSFW.

Mad bike racing videos

Umbilical Brothers

World music charts

Swearasaurus - How to swear in 156 languages.

British Pathe images

Trampoline tricks 2

Latest Weebl and Bob

I'm better at drawing than your kids

Interesting high speed video clips


Thanks to bifurcated rivets, linkfilter and coolios

Nintendo overhauls the DS

...and makes it look a little more bearable.

mmmm... shiny...

via Joystiq, sorry it's a bit late!

Final Fantasy Flash RPG

And if the PC version of Final Fantasy XI doesn't grab you how about a Flash game based on the 8 bit FF series? Yes? Ok here's Final Fantasy Flash RPG.

One for mmChronic...

mmC and I were on about FFVII and VIII yesterday, and how it might be an idea to actually fork out for a couple of PS2s just to play the new one. The problem? We'd be noobs! Someone might want to put us in a NOOB STEW!!

But!! In a move that has been designed to appease Merg and Dogs, you can preorder Final Fantasy XI, with the expansion packs, on CD for your PC for only £24.00!! w00+!

'Hippie Dictionary' tells it like it was, man

Chiggedy ch-ch-check out "The Hippie Dictionary"!

Not that we'll be needing one, as we, of course have our own resident hippy, Hippy Tony. Stay loose, dudes.

Thatcher Arrested

Yay! Throw away the key!

Oh no, it's not Maggie. But it is her gormless looking son Mark Thatcher who has been arrested in South Africa. Most famous for getting lost in a race this man has long been alleged to be dealing arms in dodgy circumstances - Saudi Arabia and Chile are two of the countries that have been mentioned before.

He seems to be facing very serious charges including aiding a coup in Equatorial Guinea and could be put away in an African prison for a very long time if charged and found guilty.

Schadenfreude? Me? Bwahahahaha!

Planet of the Apes in a Twilight Zone stylee

Someone has taken the Planet Of The Apes film, re-edited it and made it into an episode of the Twilight Zone. In the editor's words:

Why? Both were written by Rod Serling!

The Forbidden Zone site has the production notes here with a 61.8MB qt here.

via boingboing

Doh, The Humanity!

If you read NTK you'll have seen the way they screen grab web page DOH'S (including typo's and inappropriate ads) and display them for tittering purposes.

They set up a different site just for the DOH screengrabs a few weeks back called Doh, The Humanity! and I'd totally forgot to link to it but Merg's Banner Report post has just reminded me.

Distressing Olympic Footage?

After the 'horsey bird' who said Radcliffe's abysmal failure to even finish the race was the "most distressing moment she'd seen in sport" I had to post this. It's horrible and much more distressing than some lass breaking down in tears. Seriously.

Remember we reported about the Greek authorities attempts to clear up the stray dog population in Athens? Here's a video from animal charity United Action for Animals showing just how they achieved their clean street policy.

I hope all you Olympic fans can brush this aside easily so you can concentrate on the ladies' boobies without having to see scruffy strays.

via Presurfer

......

Bloggers comments seem to be fubar but it was 5 years old yesterday so I'll let it off.
I just wanted to post this comic, seems like he's been reading NewLinks the cheeky fusker!

One for our Commercial Manager

Blogger have posted info on everything you need to know about AdSense and Blogger but were afraid to ask. Or something.

I'm off to order my 3rd Ferrari.

Newcastle make Rooney bid

Fat Freddy attempting to please the fans with a false bid for Rooney? Next we bid 15p For Beckham to pretend we really are after some 'world class' players without any danger of a bid being accepted.

The Graphic Design Olympics

New Links' ongoing, indepth Olympic coverage continues with the
Graphic Design Olympics where somebody has compared previous Olympic logos and awarded a Gold, Silver & Bronze.

The UK would have won it but someone overtook it during the race and it just gave up, crying at the kerbside.

Rbot-GR is watching you

ZDNet are reporting that a new worm spies on you. Not content with merely opening backdoors on your PC and snooping about your passwords and data this one goes one step further - it apparently takes control of your webcam too and transmits images back to the hackers.

All I can add to that is Dirty Den had better watch out.

via WebNymph

Ninja Police

China have obviously been training their police force in a ninja style if these pictures are to be believed. Hanging out of a 5th floor window this policeman shoots a child kidnapper in the head twice whereupon the kidnapper falls 5 floors to his presumed death.

Presumably due the fact that the policeman flipped out with a gun instead of shurikening his ass the kidnapper amazingly survived all this!

via boingboing

More stuff

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

This morning's random cool thing...

Chiggedy check this out! Some of the best paper-folders in the world descended on Tokyo on Friday for a three-day competition and convention to celebrate the artistic possibilities of origami.

Look at what I made today!

Taking a closer look at the War Medals of George W. Bush

Fancy a closer look at the ChimpMeister's war medals? Then here's your chance to see his Fearless Ninja medal amongst others - and you don't just get them by going to 'Nam you know. Kerry must be so jealous.

via Waxy

One for Bungers: Fortress Maximus

Or the Transfan's wet dream. It was the biggest Transformer. Evar!

via Anil Dash