Saturday, January 31, 2004

Frankie says rejoice

Halo 2 will be released in autumn this year says Frankie on the Bungie site. Has the first mp screenshots too.

God of the Month Club

I come seeking... retribution.
Are you unsure of your spiritual direction? Then you should join GOMC where you will have a new god selected for you every month. This allows you to sample from a wide range of religions and choose the one that suits you. This month? Arianrhod.

Sometimes I Feel Like Screaming

CNN Reporter Duraid Isa Mohammed, who was was killed in Iraq this week may have had a blog, Sometimes I Feel Like Screaming. Further background on boingboing.


Friday, January 30, 2004

Bravo that artiste

I would have posted it myself but I didn't know whether you could cope with the world wide recognition that followed.



I own a Bungers original bmp and I'm off to eBay.

The Semaphore Ninja

I hijacked this from The Presurfer. He has some natty little links.



It's The Semaphore Ninja with a message from The Presurfer that conveys my sentiments to you too!


I'm going to flip out and get drunk. Do as the ninja says!


Wins today's award for Second Best Ninja Site Award Ever ™

Peace. Bungers has left the building!

See the horror first hand!!

Experience for yourself the fine ass piece of art that mmChronic was on about earlier. Witness the horror as a Big Nasty Ass Bulldozer runs people over.

See ladies of the Interweb..?? I'm not only deep, I'm artistic too... how about it...? Shall we get a room...??

Venous thrombosis - ninja - bird flu - black death conspiracy

Apparently on average no more than six or seven passengers die due to medical causes each year onboard British Airways flights. So it's unusual that there were 3 in-flight deaths from Miami in one weekend!!!!!!!

follow up... I like!

Hang on a minute... If we like I like! and I like likes New Links, and everyone likes The Presurfer and Fark, won't every thing just go round and round until the earth's rotation gets affected, just like in superman...?? Then dogs internet implosion would happen! As he forcast! I can back up my hypothesis with these two facts :
  • FACT ONE : If all the women in the world switched on their vibrators at the same time, the earth would be knocked off it's spinny axis thing, and collide with the moon.
  • FACT TWO : When all flights were banned inbound into the states on September 12th 2001 the average daily temperature all around the word went up by a degree during the day, and down by a degree at night.
This fascinating fact is because the amount of vapour and contrails all the passenger flights produce absorb lots of heat from the sun in the day, etc... etc... (~Thanks to Mr. J. Clarkson for that!)

See...?? Come to New Links for the humour, and each day leave a little bit wiser, thanks to me, and my profound facts.... :)

Equal rights for Fascists


Join the campaign to give Neo Nazis a fairer deal in life. View this
video (11Mb mpg) to see the problems they face every single day.

Health warning

Absolute proof that mobile phones can be deadly can be seen in this video.

Bobby Charlton Appreciation Society

A collection of images of the best way to highlight baldness - the comb over.

Hey Presto - all your base are belong to us translator

translated the New Links slogan from English to Japanese and back again. The result:

New link. As for connection there is there

Kanji text entry

That translator works quite well. Now to play japanese games all I have to do is find some way of entering the kanji text from my GBA into the translate box.



That sweet model front page translates as:-


Knowing, focusing on Florida the craftsman who connects the world with
ame, Amecya, in the one for Nara beauty Satoshi spreading/displaying
opening act of opening, producing as many as 100 these Nara ?L????
candy at the Yokohama fine arts museum! 100 it covered the candy the
hand of the customer but, in this way, being stored by the photograph,
it remains. This time Amecya favorite careful selection 55 among those
action release!


I wonder what a "spreading/displaying
opening act of opening" is?

For mmChronic...

Now you can play that new cart you bought from Lik-sang! It's a Japanese to English translator!

Want pickles on that?

Crunchier than gherkins, dragon pickle is a gourmet's delight - goes wonderfully well with griffin eggs.

Excuse 2 Animate

More White Stripes - this time it's the backing music to an animation featuring fighting stick men, gore, Sonic, Knuckles, Luigi, a warthog (of the Halo kind) and Trigger Happy Ben.

Another game

It's breakout with added White Stripes goodness - it's StripeOut!

And it's Jeebus on the final straight


What better way to spread the gospel than
to drive a car at high speed around a track? Throw in some boobies and I think they are onto a winner.

Sweet models

No not boobies - these are lollies. Which are models. It's a Japanese site so seeing what looked like a bukkake lolly wasn't too surprising.

MS Paint anim

This animation put me in mind of Bungers' 7334 9fx 5k1||z - exactly the same style as his famed "Israelis bulldozing Palestinian villages" masterpiece. In fact if I was Bungers, I'd sue.



Safish for work - features occasional badly drawn genitals.

Anyway enough of MS's inadequacies

As Bungers said it's Friday so here's a mad game. This one has 4 mini games - the twist being you start playing one then you are playing two and so on until you are playing 4 games simultaneously - juggling for video gamers!

And another virus - W32.Mimail.S@mm

I had 2 of these sent to me yesterday - and my antivirus didn't know what they were. So I was left with the decision - do I run the attached document.txt.scr? hahahaha! Although I don't know why I'm laughing - there are obviously millions of idiots who do open the attachments which can be seen by how rapidly these buggers spread.



Anyway after my antivirus software updated this morning it identified them as mimail.s - apparently it pops up a dialog box and prompts for credit card details. Ooh had a lucky escape there - I of course would have entered my credit card details into any old random box that popped up.

STFU

Excellent vid - someone with a webcam seems to think she is on Pop Idol. Unfortunately (for her) she is an an open plan office.

Tea sir...??

And how could I forget! Reason to be Cheerful ™ #3

I'm just ordering some lovely coffees from our excellent local Deli, and it reminded me of this story...

Scientists are now so clever they're inserting TEA STRAINERS in people's necks to stop them from having strokes. Excuse me while I go hurl....


(via New Scientist.com)

IE broke again

Or.... Reasons to be worried...!



A new hole has been discovered in IE. This time it seems the extensions of files you are downloading can be spoofed e.g. The browser tells you that you are downloading a pdf when in fact it is an exe.



It seems MS are doing their best to break our interweb -
you can't click on links (In fact have you seen their latest advisory on this? Type in URLs instead of clicking. WTF?) and now you can't download files. Next it'll be pictures of Anne Widdecombe returned when you look for boobies.

follow up : Two headed babies

Or... Reasons to be Cheerful...!

Number one : Two heads are not always better than one.

Number two : At least you don't look as rough as >James Brown


And it Friday for fusk's sake!! w00+!!!

Thursday, January 29, 2004

Apache in action

Joi Ito has posted a video of an Apache shooting up Iraqis. There's also a link to snopes which has a bit more background and links to other sites that have the clip.

BugMeNot.com

Need to access an article on say the NY Times and can't be bothered to fill in the registration form (even with your throwaway mailinator address)? Then try BugMeNot.com a database of accounts for websites.

Follow up: CityTV clips

New link for the clips I linked to yesterday - grab them while you can as 1st site got a visit from the ninja lawyers.

Psycho...

System Of A Down lyrics with translation.

Eyeballs


Not a collection of ocular marbles (boo hiss!) but a gallery of beautiful women (and Geri Halliwell). Front page SFW (except for a single teeny thumbnail with boobies) - after that you're on your own.

Sorry

It was a typo. :)



Of course if you didn't change your name every time you changed your gender I'd be able to keep up. Sorry Ms Bungers Gifton.

Spizz-liminator...

If you're gonna mock me then at least refer to me with my correct secret interweb alias... it's Bungers... and has been for sometime!

BlogAmp

We should set this up for Bung then we can all laugh at his Westlife habit.

I like!

YA another bookmarklet thing "I like!" is actually quite useful. You maintain a list of your favourite links (simple one click thing like posting to blogspot) but the neat thing is it will give you lists of sites that other people have recommended by examining other lists that have similar entries to yours.

Looks like it's official then...


Nobby is off for a pittance to Villa although the story does mention a third club involved so we may be able to screw a few more pennies for him. However much we finally get for him it won't be enough.



We play Villa away on 17th April. Fiver on Nobby for first goal?



EDIT: No third club mentioned - either text of story has changed or I read it wrong :)

New Links

Oops forgot. Over to the right is a new linkage section - lots of good linkage sites for you to plunder fresh linkage and post here :)

Changing lists

That was a good list dogs but I'll stick with my original ten I think - otherwise I'll be fiddling with it for years. ooer.

More nostalgia...

3D graphics...?? it'll never work...

Dunno if you remember ACE, but like I was telling Chronic the other day I was reading a '91 issue on the Thomas H. Crapper the other day, and it had an advert for a 486DX 33Mhz PC for £3500!!

Bob Marley's favourite ships?

Whalers.



Of course some stoner at the calendar company may have realised the significance of the date and put an appropriate entry. And you don't get much more appropriate than the spliffmeister himself.

Top 50!

Interesting Top 50 games but Bungers got me thinking I should include Revs+ C64 in my top 10 - and then this top 50 reminded me that I also played the Sentinel on C64 for months on end.

Spooky cooincidence number #3 ~(almost)

Follow up from the reclassification stuff... Bob Marley died in 1981. It says so on our office calender for today.

The fact that he actually died on Monday 11th May doesn't seem to bother the makers of said calendar.

A stern letter is going to the manufacturers - Randon Non Date Related Facts Calendars Inc.

Q. How does BobMarley like his doughnuts...?

A. Wit' Jammin.

Rude ABC

It's the ABC song with some new lyrics. NSFW.

Police fear 'cannabis confusion'

Well they shouldn't smoke spliffs then.



Yes it's cannabis legalisation decriminalisation reclassification day and the police are a tad worried.

Mars update


Latest pictures from Mars show why there have been operational difficulties.

Revs review

Here's the review for Revs, as I forgot to link it...

The funniest name ever for a video game character ™ goes to "Hugh Jengine"!

"Willy Swerve" gets second place. You win a prize if you can find a complete list of the names.

I'm gutted

After that shock I needed to ask Dr Judith for counselling.

Prize...?? You want a prize...?? You can't handle the prize!!

Here's your bl00dy prize then!!!

Find out what happened to tigger.....!

follow up: Spooky coincidence

You may have added 2 but you didn't drop 2 so your top 10 is in fact now a top 12. Yay for imperial lists, boo for metric lists! :)



As to the Revs character name - haven't a clue! And you never stump up the prizes anyway :)

theCRETIN.org :: When Perversion Overtakes Reality

Awesome video of a car being taken out by mini gun - unfortunately has inane WWF style commentary. The site also has lots of weird pics and videos - some NSFW!

Spooky coincidence....

My first post of the day is going to be strangely related to both of your postings....

If you haven't heard the album Speakerboxx / The Love Below you must rush out and buy it! (If you are a hifi buff it'll really test your system's timing, but I digress... these albums rock!)

Second thing was, I need to revise my list of top ten games... Dunno how I forgot Final Fantasy, and 1080° is just the finest game...

Still can't justify putting Revs in there, but it wins the award for Funniest Game Character Name Ever ™

Prize for the first New Linker who can guess who I'm thinking of!!

Saddam's An Outkast (Hey Allah)

And YA take on Hey Ya - this one is even better then the Charlie Brown one!

Retro gaming ...Pac-Man, Space Invaders, Tetris, Asteroids and more

Very good Flash versions of some arcade classics and some puzzle games.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Outsourcing is good

Outsourcing UK IT to India is beneficial to the UK economy says an IT software and services organisation from erm.. India. So that's alright then.

Optical illusions

Large and varied collection of optical illusions and other artistic oddities including some of those cool Folding Page pics from Mad Magazine.

More pingu death

This time you are on a giant, rolling snowball squashing penguins and jumping ice crevasses.

Tattooed lady

Mugshot of an underage drinker shows the best my-friend-did-these-while-I-was-sleeping tattoos ever.

Gripe of the day - You've been Plaxo'd

Have you been Plaxo'd yet?

I have. Many times. People I've never heard of have contacted me with a spamware in disguise Plaxo request to update their contacts address book. It's like the biggest mass mailing virus in the history of the universe. And it's legal!!!

The AOLer Translator

AND HER3S TEH TRANSLA2R TAHT HALPS ME UND3RSTAND BUNGS EMALES!1111111 OMG WTF



and in English....


And here's the translator that helps me understand Bungs emails.

Self detonating whale

A sperm whale has exploded in Taiwan covering cars and shops with whale goop. Local sea food buffet owners seen rushing out with buckets.

l33t sp34k g3Ner4+0r

H@ H4 H@! 1 h4Ve pHOUnD 4 l3ET tr4N5l@+0R l33t sp34k g3Ner4 0r (or a leet speak generator for all you non h4x0rs)

Now I truely am a master Hacker! And I finally can understand mmChronic's e-mails!

Movie-A-Minute

With time being such a precious commodity these days it seems silly to take a couple of hours to go see a film. Now you can "see" them in less than a minute. Of course if you are from sundlind it will still take you several hours so you may as well go and see the film. What's that? You don't have a cinema? Snigger.

Travel back in time cam


And here is BBC Look North's cam with it's wonderful view of the past.

Getting further away again webcam


Only as far as Wallsend. We have the Wallsend Stormchasers to thank for this one.

Nearer Webcam


Here are the Tyne Bridge North and South Tower cams. Ooh look - you can nearly see my house from there :)

SNOW CAM!!


Using the power of the interweb I bring you a crappy webcam of as close to here as I can find. It's a SNOW CAM!

Now all I need is a town moor cam..... :)

Mars Update

Opportunity is about to get a BSOD by the looks of it...

More adverts


Everybody has already seen the "Bush in 30 seconds advert compo" which produced some very good adverts but here's an even better one - "Bush in 41.2 Seconds".

PepsiMusic.co.uk

Check out Pepsi's New Advert Beyonce and Britney jiggle it in a roman arena style thingymajig. They don't cut Pink's head off, which is a shame.... SFW more's the pity...

CityTV out takes

These out take clips from Canadian news show CityTV show something very distasteful - the fact that ITV can show a programme like "TV's Naughtiest Blunders" and not have clips anywhere near as good as these probably means there are much better clips to be had. We demand to see Richard call Judy a "fscking bint".

Advice for cartoonists

Are you struggling to come up wth enough panels for your weekly comic strip? Then check out this helpful list of "22 panels that always work"*.



* sometimes.

Fark baseball...

Don't like g.a.y. American Sports..?? Think again sports fans, here be the Lingerie Bowl...! w00t!! It's seven on seven, full contact half time super bowl action!

Tijuana Bibles


A collection of Tijuana Bibles. And in anticipation of the next question, an excerpt from the FAQ.

What is a Tijuana Bible?

Tijuana Bibles (AKA eight-pagers, bluesies) are small (~2x5") illustrated pornographic tracts printed primarily before 1960. The skimpy stories usually framed contemporary movie, sports, political, or cartoon/comic book stars in absurdly hyperbolic sexual situations.




Most bibles consisted of 8 stapled pages. Sometimes you'd get a bonus frame from another title on the back cover, probably a printing mistake. Some were printed in a larger format with 16 pages. Page counts vary, but most stick with the tried and true 8-pager format.




I've never seen a "color" bible. Inside pages are black and white (or shades of such), with an occasional splash of red outlining on the cover.





The "artistic" quality is usually poor-- most feature atrocious grammar with illustrations just good enough to tweak a sexual response. (There are notable exceptions, of course!)

Slowed down video

of lots of stuff getting shot. I particularly liked the 7 cans one.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

The best dictionary in the world

Just look at its definition of blog. I also liked friend

Chia Christ


Grow your own holy cress. Produces what looks like a small amount but it will feed 5000 at a pinch.

The Molecular Expressions Photo Gallery

Loads of images of things viewed through a microscope.

LSD Blotter Art


A collection of imagery used on acid tabs.

Monk fu

Videos of Shaolin monks doing their thang. Though no doubt sensei dogs will film his own death defying katas and post those.

Nice graphic effects

Nice Java applet stuff for adding a bit animation to your site and you can download and use for free!!! Though the l337 mmChronic will no doubt write his own.

Particularly like the Water applet - move your mouse pointer over the image for added effect

Interactive Periodic Table

This company makes Periodic Table displays for schools etc.

Follow up: smack the pingu

It looks like Pingu has had enough.

It's Choplifter!!!!

Kindof

Save your soul

Confronted with a pair of these just what would you do?

<bad pun>Let's hope you never come across them.</bad pun>

Ropey Old Links...

I should've posted that to Misleading Links then..! arf arf...

I'm on a half day, and I'm off to the Moor with my Gas Board Barrier today.

Screw you guys, I'm going home!

</cartman>

Follow up: Hey Ya + Charlie Brown

Not long after I originally posted the link it broke. Whether due to bandwith or sneaky ninja lawyer moves is unknown.



So to make sure you saw this cool anim I found some more links.

Escher animation

Well it's not by him obviously but it is based on one of his last pieces, Snakes. The animation is here.

Looking for a place to light up legally in London


Quite amusing article on where you can light up in London - the chats with the police are particularly good.



This is in the context of the UK's legalisation decriminalisation reclassification of cannabis this Thursday. Remember kids - it's still illegal!

Lego Holy Grail


Monty Python in a Lego stylee.

The real Beauty's Castle

Pah - Bung and his false pretenders. Real thing here. Haven't looked for unabashed yet.

Virus alert - W32.Novarg.A@mm (mydoom)

New worm was being reported this morning as having no payload except for attempted DoS attacks on sco.com between 1st and 12th Feb this year. It's now being reported as being a backdoor so be careful. Usual applies - don't open suspicious attachments.

Johnny Vegas, are you here...?

Is this Johnny Vegas' medievil hideaway...? The legendary Beauty's Castle As detailed in his Room 101 repeat last night. Is Johnny Vegas a filthy deviant...?? His user name is "Unabashed" if anyone fancies looking for him!

Bush a deserter?

It's well known his family pulled strings to get him out of active service in Vietnam and into a nice cushy National Guard posting instead. It now appears he couldn't even cope with that.

This parrot doesn't speak

it orates! I reckon if any parrot was Churchill's it was this one.

Monday, January 26, 2004

Blatant double plug

Sorry but I have to plug Baal once more. Any site that quotes "Deuteronomy 27: 23: Cursed be he that lieth with his mother in law" deserves a second mention.

Origami camera

This paper camera is fully functional.

And to continue


in this new found vein of understanding, harmony and the search for spirituality here's the Evil Bible. Apparently jeebus and god are no-good sinners.

Let's move on

Like a moth to the flame I must also point out that mm missed my most blatant error "there's only 3 votes" - surely there "are" only 3 votes. But enough. Let's read about Baal worship instead.

Will work for food

Forget security, the upcoming election and other irrelevant matters - Mr Prez wants some ribs.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Answers here.

Pink tank

This tank has been decked out with pink camouflage in preparation for fighting in blancmange filled environments.

Well spotted dogs

I noticed I'd screwed the text for the poll yesterday but I thought I'd leave it for you to whinge about. :)



Tomorrow's gripping installment features dogs noticing that he'd forgotten to end a sentence with a full stop (more references on demand!) and disappears up his own bottom in a recursive flame/response cycle with himself for the next three days.

Bill to get knighthood

Bill delighted to receive honours but Microsoft lawyers will be checking fine print for any sign of Java code before acceptance

I'm clearly talking bollocks

Given the 100% vote against me it must be true that I talk bollocks!


Although given that there's only 3 votes I suspect these were submitted by mmChronic when testing his poll code, then he voted for real and finally he accidentally leant on his keyboard whilst waiting for somebody else to vote.


Bush is up for re-election - has mmChronic thought of offering his voting code should there be another re-count?



One last point. I said it was bad grammar - not a typo. It was mm who claimed it was a typo and as it was mm who created the vote on "Is it a typo?" and the world unanimously voted No"then clearly it is mmChronic who is still talking out of his arse.

Be prepared

The snow has stopped without lying but the weather forecasts say plenty more on the way. So check this out for instructions on building an igloo. It might just save your life.



Of course the fact that we very rarely get a decent snowfall these days means you may have to reduce the scale slightly.

IKEA walkthrough

Having trouble surviving to later levels of Ikea? Here's a walkthrough to help you out.

minimalism

TinyApps.Org is a collection of erm.. tiny apps. You can get a whole collection of stuff that will fit on a floppy. Remember them?

Google Search: "usb sex toy"

Woohoo! - New Links ranked 2nd highest by Google for "usb sex toy". I'm off to organise some pr0n adverts.

the World as a Blog

Woo hoo! I just saw New Links update on the World as a Blog!!

I'm just posting this in pure vanity to see it appear again!

Liked the new year photos from mmChronic... maybe I'll have to post some drunken photos from last night as an attempt to make this into a real community blog effort type thing! arf arf!

Maybe some of you avid readers would like to submit your photos to the usual address...??? Naughty photos will have to be verified by dogs. You have been warned.

Flying car

This is a video clip of what looks like a farmer or something being interviewed - then a car goes flying past in the background.

woohoo!

I posted the yellow snow link and at the same time the real snow started falling. I'm off to practice my snow writing skills for real.

Yellow snow

Are you prepared for the snow? If not you can practice your snow writing skills without having to go outside.

Kill Bill Vol. 2

The trailer for Kill Bill Vol. 2 is now online at Yahoo. If you are having problems streaming try this direct link to the QT version. (12.2Mb)

Sunday, January 25, 2004

50's Americana

Huge collection of American 50's advertising images including big chromed up cars with fins.

Pussy Plod

Need a cat crime solved? Then you need The Cats-Paw Detective Agency.

Mars looks dangerous


If this is what's going on on Mars then I'm surprised that we've heard from any of the probes.

the World as a Blog

If your blog is in the GeoURL database, has an RSS feed and pings weblogs.com when it is updated then it will appear on the World as a Blog.

Lion Dancing

Lion looking for lunch
Back from watching the cele-brations in Newcastle's China Town. It was absolutely freezing (and before dogs starts with his pedantry that was a figure of speech rather than actually meaning the temparature was at freezing on the Kelvin scale! :P) so after we had watched the Lion Dance for a bit (but didn't get a very good view through the crowds) we dashed off to eat before it finished. Turns out this was a good move because the restaurants were chocker but after the Lion Dance finished the queues were out into the street for most of them.



The picture (taken by Lauren with her mini camera thing [High performance????]) was the lion coming into the restaurant for a dance - which meant we got a very good view, got stuffed with crispy beef and didn't freeze to death. Which was nice.

Opportunity knocks


Yet another landing on Mars. Martians getting annoyed.

Hey Ya!

It's Hey Ya + Charlie Brown. There is just no way you can go wrong!



Beagle finally spotted dancing on piano.

MaccyD's unhealthy - shock!

Apparently you get fat if you eat nothing but burgers for 30 days. Also induces vomiting, toxic liver, depression.

Pavement Art

There was an email going around the other week with some very good images of chalk drawings attached. This is the artist's website with more examples of his work.



"You think... you wink... you do a double blink. You close your eyes, and JUMP"

So you want to be David Blaine?

Then you can either go here and learn his tricks or you could just buy a perspex box and a crane, hire a crowd of Cockneys to abuse you and you are off.

Mars Rover Blog


Now we know why Spirit wasn't responding the other day - it was busy updating it's blog.

Are the Tories an up to date party?

Well their web pages aren't very fresh!


What next? Disraeli for Technologies Minister?

Lexmark C710 Colour Laser for sale

One lady owner, would make excellent guard dog - bungalows only.

Scouse gits :(

Bloody scousers - lah!



Bit quite here yesterday (due to football etc) so I will try and stick some links up this afternoon - after I've celebrated this with lashings of "all you can eat" Chinese goodness.

Friday, January 23, 2004

JPL News -- Updated Mars Exploration Rover Mission Status

w00t! The h4x0rs at NASA have managed to reboot the Mars Exploration Rover

It had been trying to contact windowsupdate.microsoft.com....

Friday game

Shoot the targets. Also has an excellent "boss mode" - just click outside the browser window to see it.

Got a phone with digicam?

Then forward your pics to Mobog. As the images can be sent in by any one then it stands to reason that some may be NSFW. Like today's most viewed picture.

North East to be fully broadband by March 2005

All North East BT Exchanges are to be upgraded for ADSL - paid for by One North East. Bigg Market empties as Geordies discover Counterstrike.

yada yada yada

And since when was a typo defined as being "one mistyped character"? I think I'll go with this definition. parp!

Church V Sign

Typo???

"Yot are" would be a typo but I think you've gone for a true "All your base are belong to us" stylee

Lego Bible

See the Bible story as you have never seen it before - The Brick Testament is the Bible retold with Lego. Includes the astonishing revelation that Eve liked it from behind!



Note to self: Need Lego icon!

Dodgy knowledge of English on display to the whole world!


Grammatical error? I think not. If it had read


"Your about to be etc"


then you would have been correct. It was a typo. Shoot me.

Dodgy grammar on display to the whole world!

As there's a history of this, I just have to point out the unfortunate grammar - your?????


And in giant letters on a church sign no less!!!
Sacrilege!!



Edit: Let's see how long I have to wait for a bite..!!



Edit: 4 minutes. I think I've hooked a whale.


It does exactly what it says on the tin...

Visit Predator Dreams!!

And I thought my dreams were all farked up...

Dear Penis

Very amusing Flash duet between a man and his willy.

From localhost to logo

BBN (formed by Bolt, Beranek & Newman) have a timeline of their activities. Included are such mundane events as inventing routers, TCP and implementing ARPANET - without all of which you certainly wouldn't be reading this page.



And then you come to the last page covering this decade. And it the only news it contains is of a corporate merger and a bloody rebranding exercise. That just seems awfully sad.



Interviewer:"What is your biggest contribution to computing so far this millenium?"


BBN:"erm... we have a nice new logo??"

Church Sign Contest Entry IV

That'll teach you for reading church signs!

oh shi[BANG]

Naked Nuns



Naked Nuns - SFW.

Goth tools

Do you really hate nails? Then buy a Death Stick Hammer & make those nails bleed.

Church Sign Contest Entry III

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Big pods

Get your big pods here

Congrats to Dogs...!!

That is the funniest thing ™ I have ever seen on the interweb, ever, in the whole world ever! We have a winner! (So funny I've forgotten my HTML!!)

Cloud not fnid a lnik

The pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch codnutced at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are tpyed, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit oedrer. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Edit:
Found a link

Behold the Dark Lord

Looks like we've got a church sign competition

Vader sayeth

Cheddar Cheesus


Whilst we're on the biblical novelties theme

Artbots


Gallery of robot art from comics, films and other sources.

Pingu winner?

Well it looks like Mrs. ILuvNufc is the winner with 593.6.



Prize in the post Bung?

Nasa loses spirit?


Spirit is no longer sending sending data or responding to commands. Beagle last seen sniggering whilst holding wire cutters.

Bung hez tumour removed

by a Dr McKay McKinnon! The medical mystery deepens.

Rasp rasp rasp...

Hehehe... Check this out - it's a Church Sign Generator from a cool site called a boy and his computer And it was also in Catsinabath's site. (See below... )

You can do this with it! Tomorrow's contest...?? :)

!!!!

Hey dogs, you're a right fscking charmer! :)



I reckon you did this after all.

A greeting

Dear catsintub

Take no notice of our resident MD. Self promotion is a good thing. I've read your blog and I have to say that anyone who likes to promote self abuse in their blog can't be too bad.
By the way I'm dogs. And like all dogs I like to eat p</cheap sexist humour>

daily mail-o-matic

Generate your own Daily Mail headlines. Knowing paper journalists always nick stuff off the net and publish without credit I can only surmise we will see the headlines for real in future editions of the Daily Mail.

Tigger investigation part II

Maybe it was like this?

My medical degree

After many years of studying here I was ready to begin practice.



"Tell me, Clarice - have the lambs stopped screaming?"

Hmmm,Tigger.



Ah what memories of our slightly insane Tig(g)er.whatever happened to Tigger? Was it this or was it this.I think either would have been suitable..unless anybody else knows what happened to the monster.

Follow up : Catsintub...

I think we should be more concerned by the fact she appears to be a patient of yours!

Or should we be more concerned that some one gave you a farkin' licence to practice medicine. MMChronic M.D...?? You might give Doogie Howser M.D. a run for his money!! arf arf!

(And yes... I did try to link Doogie to a fan site or something... but I don't think he used to specialise in female pelvic exams... at least not the 5pm on a Saturday afternoon "kid doctor" thing I used to remember...)

EDIT: Found him... I was looking for "Dougie Hauser"... and got "Dougie Hoser"... doh!

catsinthetub


First link submitted by form! woohoo!


Mind you it's aggressive self promotion as it was submitted by the author of catsinthetub - but as they say "shy bairns get nowt". :)




"I write some pretty funny sh--t and think that you would like it.
Check it out and let me know what you think.
"


catsinthetub

Of course the deciding factor was that she has a cat called Tigger - I'm sure Steve will wince as he recalls the psycho family cat of the same name we had as kids :)

Nerds declare war on Apple

...after unveiling new super weapon, the doombolt.

Mars toon


Excellent animation of Spirit Mission. Beagle turns up in "The adventures of Charlie Brown".

Pingu bash

Rule 13, section ii says "nee lasses like" :)

Whose arse is it anyway?


Match the bottoms to the faces - SFWish.

Pingu bash.



My good lady Anne-Marie got 593.6.
Not sure who's gonna get the bairn from school now.

Penguin Game.



I'm still trying,i've now got 493.6

Pingu bash....

Penguin score to beat - I got 537.4.



EDIT: Buggrit - I just noticed your edit to 563. Oh well try again.



EDIT: 577.6 bwahahah.

Google Holiday Logos

Here you go Mr. Bung.

The Real Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

I'm sure most of you have already seen h2g2 but just in case you haven't...



And even more obviously two heads are better than one...

2 headed baby....

I think Rocky and April share the same surname because they share the same parents..!

</obvious>

2 Headed Baby Born.

With pic. How nice it is to reminded of HGTTG.

My feeble best on the Penguin game is 330.

musicplasma : the music visual search engine

Type in an artist and this pulls back discography, images, plays snippets of songs but best of all it does a funky diagram of similar bands.

The George W. Bush Conspiracy Generator

Not enough conspiracy theories to get paranoid about? Here you go.

Spizz alert!!

Time to change religion... again. Now you can get an interest free mortgage from the HSBC if your relig. says you don't believe in it.

Church of Bungers accepting new members all this week!


Sorry aboot the double posting dogs...! I blame my stupid mousepad thingy... messing with my brain! Stoopid field sensing malarky!

It's contagious

Perhaps Bung thought his Double Post Alert wouldn't be spotted before he deleted it. He was wrong. Double alert alert.

Monkey Link Part IV - The seach for chimps

Celebrate "Year of the Monkey" by sponsoring one of these little fellas. You even get to bring them home to your house for one day a year, so you can dress 'em up in 'uman clothes and make them drink tea from your best china!! Oooo ooo Aaaa O aaaA Ooo Ooo Aaa Aaaa!

Web death

I thought it was so important I had to say it twice.

Google images...



But do you know where they archive them...?? I saw the one for the 100 years of flight banner... (the google "oo's" were the propellors of the Wright Flyer 1)... Maybe we should do a New Link banner for special events?? Submit them to the usual address! (newlinks@mailinator.com) and they'll be deleted before anyone even looks at them!! ;)

Google's Logo


You know Google do special logos for special occasions? This time they have surpassed themselves - it has monkeys and bananas!

smack the pingu!!! (Yes i ripped it)

Here's a little diversion for this morning... smack the pingu!!! I can get 493.0m, but Fiddy Dent reckons he got 531.0m

Best score at the end of today wins the prize!

EDIT : Sorry, I got a link clash from another of my sources!! This is such a fast moving site! (hehehe) ;)
I was just adding substance to the "lame double link" goodness this morning! (p.s.) the record is now up to 567.7m... :)

No wonder...

The net is probably sinking under the weight of lame double posts! arf arf!

Web doomed

It's the end of the internet according to Web inventor Sir Tim Berners-Lee.

But mm should patent New Links just in case Microsoft decide to embed its unique oddness in IE7

Web doomed

It's the end of the internet according to Web inventor Sir Tim Berners-Lee.

But mm should patent New Links just in case Microsoft decide to embed its unique oddness in IE7

Yet another penguin game

This time hit them very hard with a baseball bat.

Martian rock found in Morocco



Still no sign of Beagle. Maybe we should just send a probe to
Morocco next time - we can get it delivered by UPS.

Latest Boy George Video


This is brilliant! Needs sound.

More photos

This time a collection of pictures of lynchings from America. I bet I didn't have to append the last two words in that sentence really.

WWII Aerial photographs still a secret?

Has anyone had any luck getting onto Evidence in Camera? It's an archive of aerial photos which was supposed to have went live Monday gone but I have still been unable to get on it.

gong xi fa cai




恭喜發財, 恭喜发财
And I hope that says what it's supposed to say!



Happy Chinese New Year! And to help celebrate here's a link to stuff happening in Newcastle's China Town this Sunday. I hope to be watching from the window of the Number 1 Oriental Buffet. <homer>shredded beef... ooooh</homer>

Just in time for dress down Friday



A new site has been created to serve the needs of people who like to chat whilst being VERY comfortable!

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Beardos beware

France gets anti beard which if nothing else will get your granny to have a shave.
Saddest thing about this story is you can only read the full text if you subscribe (30$ a year) to the hosting Catholic news site.

Game FAQS, cheats etc

Quite good game cheats search engine. Spoilt by popups etc but if you enable cookies it will stop serving ads (including banners) to you after 10 pages.

Slashdotted...

Change the layout of the site to make it look like Slashdot, BBC or Fark. Try your own mixes here.

Nice site showing UK demographics

See how well you compare to all those well off southerners here

But you will need the Adobe Scalable Vector Graphics plugin. Download here

Feeling a little hoarse?

<baddabing>
No, it's a miniature sicilian donkey!
</baddabing>

ooh shiny

new Nintendo box!

New sport! Forget football!


Try out Speed Stacks. This "sport" involves stacking cups at ridiculously high speeds. To quote the site, it's the "number one choice among physical education teachers". Presumably this is so PE teachers don't have to go out in the wind and rain. Any link with the rising obesity levels of the UK's children? Little buggers should be made to do cross country running.

Looking for boobies?


Have no fear, Booble is here! Like Google but database only contains pr0n sites.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Amiga Top 10

It's difficult doing a cross platform Top 10 so here's my miggy favourites

1 Captive

2 Starglider 2

3 Slamtilt

4 Battle Squadron

5 Speedball 2

6 Gunship 2000

7 The Addams Family

8 Battle Isle apologies for the german review but the pictures are in English!

9 Cybernoid 2

10 Nebulus

What's a "bung dropper", Bung?

Power tools - for the slaughter industry. NSFV - Not Safe For Vegetarians.

Learn to disko danski

An instructional disco dance video - in Czech. Not a problem as the message of dance (and madness) is truly cross border especially in the era of the interweb.

Robot belly-dancer shakes her stuff


Apparently inspired by Lucy Lui. I think it's more reminiscent of Callista Flockhart.

The caffine machine

You'll have to click through a bit... but here's another "Case Modification Extravaganza"...!

Or you could just click 'ere ...sorry...!

That's no spaceship. It's a PC.

Millenium Falcon PC case mod.




To quote Han Solo himself, "She'll make point five past lightspeed. She may not look like much but she's got it where it counts, kid. I've made a lot of special modifications myself.".

My Top Ten...




  • Ivan "Iron Man" Stewart's Super 4x4 Off Road Racing (Arcade and PC)

  • Rampart (Arcade)

  • Laser Squad (PC)

  • Gauntlet (Atari ST)

  • Elite (BBC Model B)

  • Phantasy Star Online (Dreamcast)

  • Zelda : A link to the Past (SNES)

  • Syndicate (PC)

  • Eye of the Beholder (PC)

  • Citadel (BBC Model B)




  • I think we need a top one hundred, I couldn't get Spy hunter or Chase HQ in!! Or lots more...!

    Daily Jigsaw Online

    Never again rage over nearly completing a jigsaw only to find a piece missing - now you can do a virtual jigsaw and rage when your PC crashes instead. Puzzle changed daily.

    Mosh pit

    Like one of those dance games but for moshers. I got 46,536 first go.

    Hangaroo

    A hangman game with added marsupial goodness.

    Reminder


    The Chinese Year of the Monkey starts this Thursday (Jan 22nd).

    Look at the monkey


    A monkey song.

    Does your brain look like this?


    I'm glad I've never bought a mobile - I've never really felt the need to ring people up and say "I'm on the bus now" in a very loud voice.

    Becoming Human


    No not a FAQ for mackems but the story of human evolution told from a scientific viewpoint. NSFC: Not Safe For Creationists.

    My video games top 10

    The games here are my top 10 remembered video games. I know I will have left out something awesome! They are listed in no particular order as that would be too hard. They all got inordinately unhealthy amounts of playtime from me. Some of the games may be available on other platforms but the ones mentioned are the platforms I played them on.


    Software giant threatens mikerowesoft

    Software giant threatens mikerowesoft hahahaha!

    Ian Bell's Asian Kittens

    Funnily enough, this is SFW!! Asian Kittens

    How cool is that...?? A cat, from the guy who wrote Elite! He reckons the Acorn Archimedes version is the best, and I happen to have one of those in the loft at home. I will provide a full report on how retro gaming is crap/not crap in the near future!

    p.s. You forgot Laser Squad. That must qualify..! :)

    Video Games

    I'm not denying Elite was awesome - back then. I just think you will be severely disappointed comparing space trading games to it as they will all fail due the fact that you loved Elite when you were a kid.



    Top 10 games? I will have to have a little think about that. Immediately begging for inclusion though are Manic Miner (Spectrum), Turrican (Amiga), Civilisation (Amiga), Knight Lore (Spectrum), AOE (PC), LOM (Spectrum). And that's before a console or arcade game is mentioned! For instance I remember sitting for hours playing with one of those Binatone boxes that did football/tennis/shooting etc. I think 10 fave video games ever may be an impossible target!

    No... I'm not saying that... ;)

    But at the end of the day... it rocked. And I will play it again... Military Lasers, ECM.. ahhh...!


    Top ten Video games of all time then please!! We'll start with you Mr. Chronic! I'm still compliling my list...

    Blah Blah Blah yesterday games were better Blah Blah Blah.

    Well you can play Elite if you wish. Me? I'm counting down for Halo 2. No trading, hyperjumps or pirates to be seen. Just constant alien death. Marvellous.



    The truth of the matter is that you will never find a trading game as good as Elite. Why? Because you played it to death as a child. It's imbued with all sorts of nostalgic loveliness. Try it now. It's cack! Move on... seek closure.. bring the period to a close... more psuedo psychoanalyst psychobabble. :)

    Beagle has landed!

    Unfortunately not that one! New virus alert.

    Continuing Elite Rant....

    My favourite game of all time is Elite. Here it is at number 4 in the The Big 50 Most Influential Games Of All Time!

    Re: Freelancer... "Mouse Flight"....??? WTFITM??? Panders to the FPS generation.... I HAVE A FORCE FEEDBACK STICK AND WANT TO USE IT!! Pah! And.... In Elite, you knew that when you were near a space station, in a law abiding system, any funny business and you'd have Vipers all over the place to protect you... and pirates only existed in deep space, not fecking regen points right next to a fecking planet!! AAAAARRRGGHHHH!!!



    p.p.s. And Homeworld... even though it's very pretty it looks like it's Command and Conquer in space!! I wanna fly a ship! (btw... I probably can fly a ship... I've only played it for five minutes, so I am reserving judgement on this one... More news tomorrow...)



    I'm off to help Geoff Crammond finish Elite 2....

    Toon coloured clock

    And whilst on the subject of SJP, here's a colour coordinated clock you can use to let you know what time to go to the match.

    GeoURL ICBM Address Server

    I've just added this site to the GeoURL ICBM Address Server. You submit a site with a Longitude and Latitude (I used the approx location of SJP (aerial) as the location as I can safely say it is the centre of the known universe.) and can then search other sites by proximity - click here to see other toon based sites.

    Monday, January 19, 2004

    Space exploration games

    I have high hopes for X2: The Threat. Mixed reviews but it seems like those prepared to put some effort in may get more from the game than they would with Freelancer.

    MIDI toy for Bung

    Of course instead of Freelancer you could alway buy one of these - then you can write your own space musical.

    Jerk In The Box


    Now we know why he's so stupid - it must be damaging to have your head pressed against a box lid all the time.

    Free postcodes location data

    Rather than pay huge amounts of money for postcode data to the Post Office or some data reseller like Hopewiser you can have it for free from here. OK it doesn't go down to the same level of detail as the commercial stuff but it would be very easy to knock up a 'nearest pub/cinema/whatever' type application with this data.

    Freelancer

    Freelancer got good reviews.

    Morning all!

    I had the misfortune of watching the Wing Commander movie for the second time last night. I'm sure I've seen it before, but I obviously forgot how shiznit it was, and erased it from my memory!

    Problems include:
    • Ships that are crap
    • Kilrathi that look rubbish
    • crap acting
    • Abuse of potentially good characters who are just made to look rubbish
    • etc... etc...


    It's also quite funny, that all the ships have a similar design to those in Crimson Skies but I can't be assed to research if that's a Chris Roberts game too, and they've probs got the same lead designer Hank "One Trick" Whoever...

    Anyways... that leads me to the point of this post... Recommend me a good space trading/explore game like Elite/Wing Commander/Homeworld that's not crap like the film.

    Thanks! Bung "Dangerous" Gifton (BBC model B plus 6502 second processor to control the Docking Computer)

    Sunday, January 18, 2004

    Universal Conjugator

    Choose a verb and see all conjugations for it. For instance when
    talking
    about
    your
    activities on this site you can ensure your English is proper like.

    How careless

    Cow ate my diamonds story makes you think your week wasn't so bad after all.

    Jacko innocent

    Uri Geller provides unequivocal proof

    Comical Ali back on TV

    The former Iraqi minister of misinformation

    Vote for Sepp


    I like Sepp Blatter. He hates Man U. And to top it off he has some great idea for women's football

    I See Jesus


    Ever wondered how those images of Christ appear in everyday objects? This company is responsible.


    They seem to have
    missed
    some
    references
    off their page.


    However if you can not afford their services you could always create your own vision. (Bottom of page)

    Free Sheetmusic Library

    Lots of public domain sheetmusic from composers such as Mozart, Brahms & Beethoven - RIAA still figuring out how to get a slice.

    Choose manhole covers

    To mark C4's repeat of Trainspotting tonight here's Drainspotting.

    Bible funnies.



    Except they're not.


    These Creationist cartoons are presumably to persuade non Creationists to come over to their point of view. Apparently the way to achieve this is use the same crackpot arguments but with cartoon graphics. Now I'm convinced!

    Addicted to net pr0n?

    Then this site may be useful.

    Saturday, January 17, 2004

    Stuart Campbell picking a fight - most unusual

    This is a link to a forum where Stuart Campbell is kicking off about someone writing a football game which he feels is too close SWOS. The author points out that SWOS ripped loads of stuff from Kick Off. Campbell agrees but says at least Sensi credited Kick Off. Then Dino Dini chips in...

    Friday, January 16, 2004

    Frodo, cease and desist

    Looks like some busybody has reported Frodo to the council. He should do his tipping at night.

    goatse.cx is dead!

    For the 1st time in years you can click on goatse.cx and not be presented with... well you know what you were presented with!



    Apparently it infringed the AUP of the Registrar for the .cx domain.



    Protest petition already has 1500 sigs. Do your bit for freedom of speech and your right to see the foulest things on the net.

    Baby baboons make history


    Rare Gelada baboons born in the UK. CSA chasing a bonobo for maintenance.

    Road Squadron - Home of the Star Wars Cars!

    I doesn't get any worse than this....Road Squadron

    See what they've done there..?? I'm going to spray paint my old shoes tonight, and set up a web site for my very own "Brogue Squadron"

    Whose rubbish is it anyway?

    Friday quizlet - you have to work out who the rubbish belongs to.

    skniL weN

    Help - my monitor has broken! Break yours too at this site.

    Booby Cursor


    NSFW. It's a booby cursor - move your pointer in the box (ooer) and it becomes a nipple.

    For sale: Footballers, hardly used

    Leeds should maybe think about doing this - Although Freddie thinks the auction has already started.



    EDIT: I posted wrong link and now it's been pulled. It *was* an ebay auction selling the West Ham squad. Bad link replaced with the Freddie link.

    Wildlife recordings

    This is a recording of a pikey scotchish having an eppy on the phone to the council. 1MB MP3.



    EDIT: I should have put NSFW as there's more than a bit of swearing. However I think you suspected there would be :)

    British XI V2

    My "British" team would be as follows:-

    1. Paul Robinson

    2. Wayne Bridge (just as cack as Ashley Cole but he's not a cheating twat.)

    3. Jonathan Woodgate

    4. John Terry

    5. Glen Johnson

    6. David Beckham

    7. Paul Sholes

    8. Jermaine Jenas

    9. Kevin Beattie (should be Sir Al but they can't have him!)

    10. Michael Owen

    11. Alan Thompson




    With El Tel's diamond thingummy - Scholes behind front 2, Thompson and Beckham playing as wingers and JJ providing the anchor. Ooh look - all English!

    British XI



    Well,here goes


    1 Robinson-Leeds (cos i can't have Given)

    2 Cole-The Arse/Bridges-Chelsea (nout in it,neither brilliant)

    3 Hughes-Newcastle (not had the best season but he is good,honestly)

    4 Woodgate-Newcastle (no debate)

    5 Campbell-The Arse (Even without Rio's ban,i still think he is third best Centre-Half)

    6 Scholes-Man U Mingers

    7 Beckham-Real Madrid

    8 Dyer-Newcastle

    9 God(AKA Alan)-Newcastle

    10 Owen-Liverpool

    11 Giggs-Man U Mingers (As i've got nearly all right footers,for balance)


    I picked my team on the old system of 1-11 position wise.It would be easy to name the best X1 but they would be all attackers. As we in Newcastle know,that does'nt work...A La Keegan.

    I'm sure to have forgot someone brilliant but this is of the top of my head.

    Proper pounds

    Here's a list of HTML 4.0 Entities you can use for pound signs etc. I'll fix your Chopper post Bung.



    Steve, Shay would walk into a "British Isles" team for me - but he's not British so he couldn't get into a British Olympic football team - just the Eire one.

    STOP THE PRESS!!!


    Chopper, the iconic 1970s bicycle brand is set to make a comeback as maker Raleigh relaunches it in April for a limited period of time. With its red lined tyres, Chopper was the essential bike of the 70s. And fans of the bike (affectionately known as 'The Hot One') will be pleased to know that he bike's original design by Alan Oakley, the then Chief Designer at Raleigh, remains largely unchanged on the new version. Available only in the original Infra Red, the materials in the bike's production are taken from the original Chopper concept, even using the original tyre mould from the 70s. Chopper junkies will instantly recognise the legendary 'ape-hanger' handlebars, elongated seat, back rest, chrome seat hoop and mud guards that were instrumental to the bikes radical design. Previously positioned on the cross bar of the bike, the gearshift has been moved to the handlebars to comply with modern safety standards. The first 2004 Choppers will be limited edition with a personalised plaque featuring the production line number, where the gearshift once was. The Limited Edition Choppers will retail at £249.99, all others will retail at £199.99. Loz Cox, Chopper Product Manager at Raleigh says: "Change in the bike market and demand for retro products like the VW Beetle and Mini Cooper sparked the idea for the introduction of the new Chopper. The new Chopper has been restyled for the new century and a new generation of kids who are looking for a highly stylised bike unlike any other on the market."

    Federal Eurpean Team of Great Britain



    Maybe you could field a "seniors" team, with Ian Rush, Big Nev, Roy Keane, and Ryan Giggs in 2012, but that's my contribution.... and you could always wheel out Colin Hendry for a laugh I suppose!!

    Back to work... Jack Straw is a twat. It'll never work!

    Im Afraid ..

    any British team would have to start with an Irishman.See here.

    LMFAO!!!


    That would be the British team composed entirely of Englishmen then? A few years ago Giggs may have got in from Wales but he wouldn't be an automatic choice for me now. I can't think of anyone else. FFS Scotchish players aren't fit to be ball boys nevermind footballers!



    There you go - a Friday challenge. Try to pick a British X1 and see how many are English, Scotch, Oirish or Inbred. Post any teams so we can all pick it to pieces :)